r/tifu 11d ago Hugz 1 Take My Energy 1 Defeated 1 Pranked! 1 Gold 2 Platinum 1

TIFU when I (19m) missed all the signs that my roommate (22f) was interested in me M NSFW

Update.

My roommate moved out this morning. She's immigrating. The two of us have shared an apartment for almost 2 years. I've always been attracted to her, but I didn't want to be that guy who tried to fuck the first female roommate he got, so I did my best to keep our relationship as platonic as possible. However, last night being the last night my roommate and I were gonna be roommates, I decided to tell her that I always thought she was attractive. I also made it clear that I didn't expect anything to happen, I just wanted to get it off my chest so we could laugh about it without worrying that it might be awkward the next day, and the day after that, etc. My roommate playfully punched me on my shoulder and said she gave me so many opportunities. I had no idea what she was talking about, which prompted her to provide the following examples:

  1. When we were dancing in the club and the song finished, our faces were so close together, our foreheads were literally touching. But instead of kissing her at that moment, I apparently rolled my eyes to the back of my head and asked if I looked like Storm in X-Men.
  2. When she asked me to show her what kind of porn I enjoyed watching, I showed her mine and she volunteered to show me hers. We were sitting on the couch, watching people fuck, and still I did nothing.
  3. When I was hospitalized, she said she would be happy to nurse me when I get home, but only if I promised to wear nothing but my hospital gown.
  4. When she asked me for a piggyback ride to her room when she was done showering and only wearing a towel.
  5. When she confessed to sleeping in one of my shirts because I was away for the weekend and she wanted to feel close to me.

I can go on, it was a long list, but this was the top 5 for me. It seemed so obvious now, but at the time I was fucking clueless. I think I was too focused on NOT crossing that line that my brain completely blocked out any signs of sexual chemistry. My roommate and I laughed about it, but deep down I was so angry at myself for losing out on what could have been a more exciting experience because I was unable to connect the dots.

Tl:dr I was blind to the signs that my roommate was attracted to me, and now that I finally know what I've been missing out on, it's too late to do anything about it because my roommate is moving overseas.

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u/No_Application_8698 11d ago

I feel that there is also another important missed opportunity here:

  1. When she mentioned all the many previous times I'd misunderstood her intentions the night before she moved out, clearly hoping to prompt one wild night of no-strings-attached sex...and yet I still did nothing about it.

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u/MrComradeTaco 10d ago

Haha you got a good point here bud.. 🤣🤣

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u/Koresfruit91 10d ago

THIS. That poor girl worked SO hard lmfao

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u/recreationallyused 10d ago

Right? Like at that point I would give up and move out too lol she probably thought he was so disinterested in her.

But, being real here, I feel awful for the dude. I’m autistic and even I would’ve caught a little wind of something haha

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u/remotetissuepaper 11d ago

Jesus Christ mam, you did it again, didn't you? You had this talk last night and she left this morning, but you still did nothing, didn't you?!

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u/Clay_Pigeon 11d ago Doot 🎵 Doot

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u/rvnnt09 11d ago

That boy ain't right

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u/GiveToOedipus 10d ago

That boy needs therapy

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u/dawg_will_hunt 10d ago

Crazier than a coconut

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u/victorywulf 10d ago

what does that mean??

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u/Fetus_Destroyers 10d ago

I promised my girlfriend I'd, violin, violin, violin

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u/dragonavicious 10d ago

Frontier Psychiatry!

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u/jayprolas 10d ago

horse neighing with reverb

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u/jayprolas 10d ago

Simply psychosomatic

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u/dreamofadream 10d ago

Lie down on the couch 🫱

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u/GlobetrottinExplorer 10d ago

what does that mean?

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u/stoutaboutblack 10d ago

YOU’RE A NUT!

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u/garreckg 10d ago

You're crazier than a coconut

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u/NoAttentionAtWrk 11d ago

Holy shit the boy is a dumbass 🤣

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u/dinozero 11d ago

I’m physically laughing out loud

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u/beano919 10d ago

I cannot believe he still didn’t dip into that. What a huge fucking L that was lol

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u/AlephMuses 11d ago

Another comment asked the same thing. He said no, no they did not. That girl has the patience of a saint and a head full of sawdust, only slightly less than OP. They deserve this outcome

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u/lionheartcz 11d ago

Absofuckinglutely.

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u/b0dhisattvah 11d ago edited 10d ago Hugz

I just lost someone very close last week. THAT'S when it's too late.

For you? Not to late.

She packed her stuff? Not too late.

She moved out? Not too late.

She on a plane? Not too late.

She in another country? Not too late.

If you're both alive, it's not too late.

EDIT: thank you for the concerned comments. I've got a wife and kiddo to cheer me up, and going through old photos last night actually did a world of good. (I'm making copies for her folks and husband.) I just wish she'd met my son, who I'm sure she'd have loved.

Time flies! Tell the people you love that you love them, while you can!

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u/adequateandgeneric 11d ago Silver Gold Platinum To The Stars I'm Deceased

When she confessed to sleeping in one of my shirts because I was away for the weekend and she wanted to feel close to me.

Yeah again you really can't tell, maybe she's from Canada and she was just being polite

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u/redditsdeadcanary 11d ago

Im terrible at picking up on hints but .. damn

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u/ElectricMotorsAreBad 10d ago

That's not even an hint, only way she could have been less subtle than that would have been literally stuffing her genitals on his face.

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u/bofadoze 10d ago

Lol so silly, she was just asking to see if it was an ingrown hair. Nothing sexual obvi

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u/AthearCaex 10d ago

Yeah, again she could just be from a culture that asserts dominance by rubbing her genitals over you so you can't really tell...

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u/Herbstein 10d ago

I stayed with a family in Seattle for a month. In my last week one of my host sisters, who was a year or two older than me, and I hung out until the early morning every day of my last week. I barely slept in my own bed.

On the first few nights of that week she took off her bra next to me, put it on my head, and asked to lay in my lap. I obliged, but made sure to find a pillow to hide my boner.

On the last few nights she was getting desparate and just started kissing my neck. I had a hickey for 2 weeks after getting home, shit was intense. I still didn't get the hint, somehow. I wrote her a message right after seeing her for the last time, and she, rightfully, called me a dumb fuck.

I can laugh at it today but maaaan did that experience fuck me up for years.

Oh, and I literally showed her the CasuallyExplained video during that week. Not to tell her anything, but because I thought it was funny. I must've looked insane for not seeing the connection.

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u/fordag 10d ago

On the last few nights she was getting desparate and just started kissing my neck .... I still didn't get the hint

Do you have any diagnosed developmental issues?

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u/Herbstein 10d ago

Nope, just a big ol' insecure virgin afraid to act on it

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u/SomebodyThrow 10d ago

And this is only the top 5.

I’m convinced if we heard more we’d not agree with the placement because at this rate #6 will be

“She asked me to go get condoms but I don’t see what her being concerned for my sexual health has anything to do with her wanting to OH MY GOD”

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u/hoops_n_politics 11d ago

Holy crap - that’s a bit more than “I’m interested in you.” That’s more like, “I dream about you and what our life together might look like”.

Maybe OP can book a trip to visit his roommate in her native country?

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u/azzacASTRO 11d ago

Getting desperate for some sort of reaction from him

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u/obligatoryeuphamism 11d ago

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u/harpo555 11d ago

I hope casually explained is ok, he posted a rant about doing mushrooms and how it fucked with his perception, deleted it and has been radio silent since,

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u/Crazed_pillow 11d ago

Is there a link where I can still see this rant?

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u/TheSlitheringSerpent 11d ago

Found a mirror upload. There's a few more mirror uploads as well if you dig through YouTube. Here you go:

https://youtu.be/tW0QXybsvQ4

/u/oh_berg /u/incognitoshadow pinging you two since you were interested in this as well.

/u/CasuallyExplained I guess I somewhat understand why you took this video down (maybe?), but I want you to know it's fine to share these things, flawed as they might seem in hindsight. Not enough people are aware of just how much our brains can change in drastically short periods of time, nor in such drastic ways. Sure, the easiest way to do it (and probably the wrong way to go about it for most) is by overdoing psychedelics, but experiences such as Ego Death and the reconditioning of our perception of reality and ourselves can drastically change by means such as meditation or being extremely self-reflective. I personally had a life changing experience with psychedelics... The wrong way...and it still helped a lot in the long term, just had to endure a bit of PTSD for a while😅 (it also may have gotten me a bit too interested in quantum field theory and quantum physics in general) and you know what, that's alright! I'm not about to tell people to jump off the deep end into a psychedelic-driven ego-death, but I sure as hell took enough out of the experience to be able to share the positives with my peers and help them grow as mindful and self-reflective humans. These past few years have been pretty reality-shattering for a lot of us, so an awakening kinda makes sense with or without the help of our mycotic cousins :) hope you're doing alright!

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u/incognitoshadow 11d ago

thanks for the ping and i really enjoyed reading the message you added for u/casuallyexplained. very down to earth and the positivity made my morning :)

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u/Oh_Berg 11d ago

Also interested, I thought that I watched all his videos(at least five times), but this one flew under my radar

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u/incognitoshadow 11d ago

ditto, i'd like to hear his experience if possible

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u/Parafault 11d ago

He truly was one of the most interesting and creative YouTubers out there. I really miss his content.

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u/Vibriofischeri 11d ago

woah, actually? that sucks

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u/BarnacleFellow 11d ago

Causally explained baby 🐥

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u/juyett 11d ago

I dont think it was that one. I think it was the one where he casually explains how to tell if a girl is into you.

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u/SoggyBiccy 11d ago

ah the old casually-explained-switcharoo... Nah sod it I can't be bothered.

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u/drugsondrugs 11d ago

Oh how I miss his work.

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u/martsand 11d ago edited 11d ago Silver Gold All-Seeing Upvote

Damn, I thought I'd give you some slack but at this point I think if she was spread out on the sofa you would just have made a kamehameha and asked if you looked like master Roshi

edit : I'm over 9000!

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u/SmokeGSU 11d ago Gold All-Seeing Upvote hehehehe Starry

Her, naked and spread eagle on the sofa: "I'm all out of cock. Can I have yours?"

Him: "I didn't have any leftover chicken after lunch, but if you want I can run to the store and get you some."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her: "God, I haven't had sex in so long. I feel like I'm all dried out down there and need something to get me wet."

Him: "I get that. Sometimes I have to take a shower in the middle of the day if my boxers start rubbing me the wrong way."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her: "I want you deep inside of me."

Him: *hands over the fork* "I'd have brought you a piece of this chocolate cake if I knew you wanted some. You can have the rest of it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her: "I'm cold. We should take our clothes off and cuddle under the covers to conserve our warmth."

Him: "Hold on..." *gets up* "My mom packed a heated blanket for me when I moved in and I know it's in the closet somewhere..."

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u/DasArchitect 11d ago

Yup, sounds like me alright

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u/whatoneaarrrthisthat 11d ago

Its okay, she might just be canadian.

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u/pumpkins_n_mist15 11d ago edited 11d ago

I'm laughing so hard right now because I'm crushing mad on a guy who is oblivious and ... drumroll ... He's Canadian.

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u/ThisFreaknGuy 11d ago

Use your words and tell him. "Hey, I like you. Want to risk it all and go on a date? Or would you rather just be friends? "

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u/Reddywhipt 11d ago

My girlfriend who lives in CAN A DAH

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u/-Kerosun- 11d ago

Reminds me of those YouTube videos where a plumber comes over, the woman drops tons of hints like a PornHub video, and he just doesn't get it.

https://youtu.be/4xYu2WrygtQ

This group has quite a few of these videos and they're pretty funny.

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u/FillThisEmptyCup 11d ago

Problem is she never said the magic word in the beginning to let him know. "Step-brother"!

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u/sth128 11d ago

Reminds me of that skit where the woman kept trying to seduce the plumber but failing.

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u/NakedTitan 11d ago

Me: "You must be waiting for Greg"

Roommate: "I've been waiting for you"

Me: "Hugh? Aw, man. Poor Greg. Anyway, there are condoms in my room if you need any. Text me when it's safe to come back"

Winks and walks away whistling

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u/Scary_Technology 11d ago

Dude! What country are you in and what country did she move to? Can't you go after her?

Often, being happy at home enables and encourages you to be all you can be. The opposite is also true. If you guys lived together for so long and got along so well, I cannot imagine how you two would not be happy together wherever you are, even if it means you have to start over in the new country.

She will be forever "the one that got away". I've been married 16 years, don't make my mistake!

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u/Yardninja 11d ago

Sounds like North America to Europe

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u/ThirteenGoblins 11d ago

Spirit airlines, $79 and a concussion for a one way flight

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u/_far-seeker_ 11d ago

$79 and a concussion

So is the concussion required in order to consider Spirit Airlines?

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u/NostalgicTuna 11d ago

Imagine your spouse reading this and realizing that you have deemed them a mistake.

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u/Codeofconduct 11d ago

I feel bad for you wife mang!

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u/comdoriano009 11d ago

More like Goku, based on how clueless he is (:

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u/yojoewaddayaknow 11d ago

Yeah if he was Roshi his nose would have been bleeding from the moment he found out he was going to have a girl roommate.

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u/reyxe 11d ago

I try not to judge people like OP because I'm also oblivious as fuck.

But this guy is like a million times worse than I am, the fuck watching porn together in the couch and doing nothing

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u/BHIngebretsen 11d ago

And about last night? Nr 6 on the list?

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u/McShoobydoobydoo 11d ago

On the plus side, if Marvel ever make a Captain Oblivious movie then you are a fucking shoo in

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u/AverageAZGuy2 11d ago

But wait, did you guys end up boning?

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u/thereidenator 11d ago

100% guarantee he said “bloody hell I should have known” and then walked to his room

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u/ThinkThankThonk 11d ago

"Wait until the fellas on reddit hear about this one! I'll be right back, gotta make sure I get your key back from you."

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u/thereidenator 11d ago

Couple of years down the line he gets an invite to her wedding and when he goes he jokes with her about all the opportunities he had and she is like “yeh and then I told you all that on our last night living together and you just disappeared off to your room”

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u/Green_Routine_7916 11d ago

op reading this like "fuuuuuuuuuuuuck"

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u/Tegurd 11d ago

Then goes on Reddit to write a new TIFU

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u/SmokeGSU 11d ago

and then walked to his room

to pull up the favorite porn video he'd showed her before so he could rub one out

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u/thereidenator 11d ago

No no no, he will have pulled up her porn so he can think about her rubbing one out

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u/NakedTitan 11d ago I Shy Defeated

Nope. But our goodnight hug was really intimate. It was like we didn't want to let go of each other. I have no doubt in my mind that at some point the two of us considered doing something sexual, but nothing happened. And I believe that was for the best. She's beginning her life somewhere else and I wouldn't want to complicate that.

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u/AssFingerFuck3000 11d ago

I have no doubt in my mind that at some point the two of us considered doing something sexual

No way what makes you think that

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u/PrinceDusk 11d ago

Idk, really close intimate hugs have a way of feeling suggestive

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u/AssFingerFuck3000 11d ago

I thought the part where she literally told him she wanted to fuck him+her long list of blatant moves strongly suggested that she wanted, in fact, to fuck him

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u/Astrochops 11d ago

Better play it safe though

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u/AssFingerFuck3000 11d ago

What's even safer than protected sex? No sex 👍

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u/azmajik 10d ago

Even better, send her off to a different continent. Just in case

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u/AssFingerFuck3000 10d ago

It's not like he stood a chance anyway

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u/TheMostKing 10d ago

Well, you know, nothing happened. As we all know, sex is a thing that manifests in the room when the time is right.

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u/SolusLoqui 10d ago

Probably all the hip grinding she was doing

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u/thadude42083 10d ago

Seriously I can't believe this guy would make wild accusations like that. What a sick perv...

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u/quantinuum 11d ago

She confessed how she was onto me and making moves while just wearing a towel

at some point the two of us considered doing something sexual, but nothing happened

You sound like the kind of guy not to make a move on his wedding night, my man.

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u/Nmase88 11d ago

Oh my god dude, this is the funniest shit I've read on Reddit today.

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u/BigBoiii_5 11d ago

Goddamnit.

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u/daurgo2001 11d ago

Lol. Literally loled out loud at this.

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u/hellobritishcolumbia 11d ago
  • laughed out louded out loud -
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u/senorfresco 11d ago

Bro, you're incredible. Never change.

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u/Wevvie 11d ago

I feel like he can't accept how oblivous he was and is making excuses to pat himself in the back.

I don't blame him, I was just like that too.

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u/AngryCarGuy 10d ago

Tale as old as time. Classic coming of age story lol.

At least once a year for the rest of his life, he'll be doing dishes or taking a shower or something and he'll suddenly remember and kick himself over it for at least 20min.

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u/bpayne123 11d ago

As a 41 year old mother to two children (which I think means I’m mature…?). PLEASE for the love of all things holy go visit her in a couple months once she’s settled in and do the deed! I’m invested in this now.

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u/willfrodo 11d ago

As a 28 yr old guy with three cats, I, too, am also very invested

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u/bbq420 10d ago

I am also 28 yr old guy with three cats and I raise you another investment.

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u/ripvannwinkler 10d ago

As a 42 year old guy with 3 cats, I wish I was 28 again.

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u/daurgo2001 11d ago

Oh man… she was probably facepalming herself so hard. She basically told you she wanted to sleep with you after you told her she was hot, and you didn’t close the deal?!

Bruh. I mean, she could have taken the initiative as well, but this sounds like a wood pyre on a rainy day.

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u/PM_ME_CUTE_FRIENDS 11d ago

It's an amusing TIFU and the comments are really funny but I think yall are being a bit too hard on OP.

If he really wanted to, I think he would have asked to bone but he has this bit of maturity in thinking of the implications of that for his friend. The way he admitted his attraction seems to be simply a point of closure for him. Maybe the sexual tension isn't there anymore and in the 2 year effort of making it platonic, it has evolved into exactly that.

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u/daurgo2001 11d ago edited 10d ago

tl:dr: This sounds like a “the one the got away” story.

I don’t know that making a post about not being able to read signals and then continuing to not read signals is a ‘sign of maturity’. I think the whole point is that he hasn’t been hard enough the whole time… haha

Kidding aside, no ill will intended. We all take life at our own pace, but it’s funny because OP has realized they didn’t get the not-so-subtle signals and yet, still didn’t act on them after being made aware that they in fact were signals at the last opportunity that they had to act on them.

Wanting to keep a relationship platonic bc you actually aren’t attracted to the friend, or bc you’re attracted to someone else seems perfectly reasonable, but if you were also attracted to the person who is attracted to you (as is the case here), then we’re all confused as to why things didn’t click and happen. ie: we were all cheering for the protagonists and there was no happy ending. (At least not yet).

They’re both super young, so maybe they’ll meet again in the future, and maybe not, but as the saying goes: you miss every shot you don’t take.

Also, what is it that most elderly people regret the most? It’s the chances they didn’t take.

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u/-darknessangel- 11d ago

Translation from earth language to yours: that was your very last chance. You need to get better in the future. Like A LOT!

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u/CornerFlag 11d ago

I mean, come on fella, even my balls turned blue from this.

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u/bahenbihen69 11d ago

Likewise lmao, thanks for the laugh

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u/exisito 11d ago

Smh. You're still cock blocking yourself. Amazing follow thru. Lol

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u/arpus 11d ago

oh honey....

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u/Lssmnt 11d ago

I'm gobsmacked

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u/interesseret 11d ago

Sometimes there's the one that got away, and sometimes there's the one you push down the hill and cheerily wave at.

I think this is more of the latter.

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u/RiotGrrr1 11d ago

Did you leave her with a firm handshake?

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u/Dense_Cup_1479 11d ago

Dude you may wanna get tested to see if there's actually a brain between those ears or just really smart water

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u/Pandering_Panda7879 11d ago

She's beginning her life somewhere else and I wouldn't want to complicate that.

Dude, seriously. The first part was like a porn, this one is a romcom. It's your last day. You tell her you like her. She tells you she likes you too.

AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT? Like, come on. Give it a shot. LDR and see how it works out. Who cares what happens, if it doesn't work out, she's gone anyway.

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u/hoboshoe 11d ago

Bruh moment

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u/darexinfinity 11d ago

I wouldn't want to complicate that.

You just confessed to her your feelings. How does that not complicate things?

It sounds like both of you waited on the other to make a move, so nothing happened.

You were clueless for two years, which isn't your fault. But I think you will eventually regret that last night.

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u/thereidenator 11d ago

Mate, Jesus fucking Christ, a fuck on the last night wouldn’t complicate her new life. Please hand your penis in so somebody else can you it if you’re not going to.

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u/papasmurf255 11d ago

She wanted to use it but he refuses to hand it to her...

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u/thereidenator 11d ago

Hahahaha you’re totally right

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u/bNoaht 11d ago

How would having sex for 2 minutes complicate her life? Is your dick made of winning lottery tickets?

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u/Pinturillo 11d ago

TIFU is appopiate because the day you really fucked up was today, when you finally knew it all and lost the last chance

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u/PupPop 11d ago

BRUHHHHHHH

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u/ShrunkenQuasar 11d ago

I'm gonna be honest. You're gonna be remembered by her as that one gay dude she had a crush on.

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u/AZSnake 11d ago

This is the important question.

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u/lorl3ss 11d ago Bravo Grande! Eureka!

Fucking Chad keeping your sexual impulses in check for 2 years to ensure your room mate felt comfortable in her own home.

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u/NakedTitan 11d ago edited 11d ago

My penis had a hard time understanding that concept at the first, but I had to convince him that the end result was gonna be a comfortable environment for both roommates. Little did I know that my penis and my roommate's vagina wanted the same outcome all along.

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u/bdfariello 11d ago

Ha. Outcome.

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u/TechnicalChaos 11d ago Spit-take

His outcome would be her income surely? Or would it be a homecoming if his pullout aim was poor...

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u/dildomiami 11d ago

dude. i think you got what they call „a pure heart“ keep it. you seem like a nice person.

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u/thatjerkatwork 11d ago

My penis had a hard time

PHRASING!

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u/P-13 11d ago

THIS. Sure perhaps OP missed out on something, but boy oh boy the drama that could’ve ensued if the coin flipped the other side.

Anyway, like you said: she felt safe/comfortable in her own home and OP learned a valuable lesson in life. I take this TIFU as a win. If OP is legit genuine like this his future gf can count herself lucky.

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u/chuchofreeman 11d ago

his future gf can count herself lucky

he's not gonna get any gf if he does not act out on the hints lol

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u/She_Plays 11d ago

Right everyone's bming this guy, but I think he's even hotter after reading the whole thing. Definitely oblivious as shit LOL. Also number 1 in the list got me good.

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u/numba-juan 11d ago

You: "I think he's even hotter after reading the whole thing." Him: "Oh no, I'm very comfortable in here, thanks for asking!"

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u/dan_144 11d ago

Respecting women is alpha as fuck

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u/michelobX10 11d ago

You remind me of myself. I'm married now but I had a few missed flings because I respect boundaries and I was never the one to initiate. I'm a little introverted so I never try to pursue a person unless I was 100% sure that they were into me.

Funny because my wife was the one who pursued me, also. You're still young. You'll have plenty of other chances with other people.

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u/DM_ME_UR_TITTAYS 11d ago

When I was in high school there was a girl I was super in to who was one year above me. I never said anything because she was quiet, and I had kind of low self esteem. We both played an instrument so were in band together every year.

The last day of her senior year, she tracked me down at the end of the day to say goodbye. She grabbed both of my hands and said "I'm really going to miss seeing you every day." Then pulled me in for a hug that I still remember 21 years later. She whispered in my ear, the kind of whisper that gives you goosebumps and chills, "I'm pretty sure I've fallen in love with you, it's too bad we didn't make anything of it." Then she kissed my cheek and left. I haven't seen her since.

17 year old me was blown away and in shock. I also had to quickly think about something else to keep the impending boner from materializing. I was kicking myself for MONTHS.

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u/ParticleBeing 11d ago

Same thing happened to me. Freshman year of HS I had a crush on this girl and we had every single class together. Eventually we got close as friends but I never realized the signs; now looking back how obvious they were. She moved to another state after freshman year and I was kicking myself about not even attempting to Al least let her know how I felt about her before she left. Fast-forward to Senior year and the teacher is introducing a new student to the class, and I couldn't fucking believe it. It was my crush from freshman year. We didn't have classes together senior year but the friend circles overlapped so I talked to her now and then but nowhere close to how it was freshman year. At this point I figured she wasn't into me anymore since she was gone for a couple years. Fast-forward to the last week of HS and I meet her in a small computer room and she intimately hugs me like I was a soldier finally coming home after some years on tour. She told me she always liked me but wasn't sure if I liked her back, told her the literal same and just laughed how stupid both of us were for not pulling the trigger. Ever since graduation she seemed to have dropped off the face of earth. Even her friends been trying to find out what happened/where she's been as recently as last year. Sometimes I wonder if she even existed at all.

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u/doahou 11d ago

godamn highschool experience for me too.

I had to sit next to this smart and popular girl for an entire year. I had low self esteem ( still do but I used to too ) so I never tried to initiate a conversation but somehow she always talked to me before and after class starts/ends, I just chalked it up to her being friendly and went with it. She also had this odd habit of asking me to feel how cold her hands were. I was the nerdy kid but I wasn't a smart nerd, I was pretty dumb and spent most of my time playing video games and watching anime so I figured she was just being nice and trying to help me get my grades up whenever she wants to hang out and talk about class.

anyway, fast forward a few years later and I'm in college hanging out with a girl from class ( not the same girl from highschool ) and she starts bitching about guys who keep hitting on her and how lame they are with flirting, one of them asked her to "feel his hand because it was cold" and my brain just short circuited and I shouted "THAT WAS FLIRTING!?" I told her the story and she just burst out laughing and started referring to me as the "dense idiot" to her friends

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u/sinofmercy 11d ago

I was the same way all the way up until I got married. I was in a grad school program where the ratio was 10:1 female to male and I was still a master in dodging obvious signs from multiple women. Weekend trip to the Poconos with one girl and her to-be-married couple (obviously as a double date in retrospect.) Another girl literally taking her underwear off in the bar and wanting me to carry her to her car via piggyback. A third talking about how she accidentially opening her nudes in class and heavily implying she would show them to me if I asked.

I'm pretty sure my wife is my wife because she was the most persistent. She came onto me, gave me her number, and then I lost it. I had to ask her for it again and she still makes fun of today.

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u/fookthisshite 11d ago

Same story for me!! I’ll never forget I was 15 years old at this girls house. We go to her basement and someone in her family has a guitar so I was like “sweet I’m gonna play!”. She gets behind me on the chair and wraps her arms around me and starts rubbing me all over and I literally rolled my eyes with a look of “can’t you see I’m trying to shred here?”. Needless to say she lost all interest in me haha

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u/michelobX10 11d ago

As teenagers, a lot of us were oblivious to girls' advances. Lol

Me: "Let's go to the mall."
Girl: "I really want to just stay in and watch TV."
Me: "But I need to buy some shoes."

...................

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u/PooperJackson 11d ago

That girl should have known not to get between a guy and his dope ass shredding session. It was for the best.

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u/CaptainAwesome06 11d ago

asked if I looked like Storm in X-Men.

LOL that's do dumb but relatable.

watching people fuck, and still I did nothing.

I get it. You could mistake that for a woman being more of a bro than a potential GF.

she said she would be happy to nurse me when I get home,

She sounds like the motherly type. That's sweet.

but only if I promised to wear nothing but my hospital gown.

That would have me questioning but I'd chalk it up to playful teasing.

piggyback ride to her room when she was done showering and only wearing a towel.

That's definitely a red flag. I'd really be questioning it at that point. She obviously wanted you to see her naked or she was VERY un-self-aware.

confessed to sleeping in one of my shirts because I was away for the weekend and she wanted to feel close to me.

WTF... You're dense.

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u/ghoonrhed 11d ago

The nursing one is the biggest hint, she's basically saying she wants to see him near naked and at the same time physically help him

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u/-holdmyhand 11d ago edited 11d ago

Damn dude, after reading I can literally feel how wholesome and genuine you are as a guy, I knew you're an awesome guy after the line "Rolled eyes to look like Storm in X-Men", that's funny. Also keeping the boundaries for 2 years and respecting her was top tier. And I understand your disappointment. Nobody has really figured this signal thing and most of the time this doesn't work without a proper communication.

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u/oro12345 11d ago

.....if you're trying to come on to him, you're going to need to be more direct.🫠

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u/John___Stamos 11d ago

Signals unclear! If she's really into me why would she wear a towel while getting a piggy back ride?

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u/danteheehaw 11d ago

I have good aim. It's really more of a distance issue

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u/Blue-Eyed-Lemon 11d ago

For real. He sounds like a really sweet and respectful dude. No wonder his roommate liked him lol

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u/NakedTitan 11d ago

I never expected someone in this thread to think of me as wholesome and genuine for not only being completely oblivious, but also for referencing X-Men at the weirdest time. I do appreciate it though, and thanks for the extra layer of understanding in your comment.

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u/MolinoSborrino 11d ago

On one side, you definitely are oblivious. On the other, when she saw that her signals - although very clear - weren’t being understood, she could have tried a more direct approach. I’ll never understand why men are expected to “get the signals” and always be the ones who make the first move.

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u/bklynsnow 11d ago edited 11d ago

. Nobody has really figured this signal thing and most of the time this doesn't work without a proper communication.

She wore his shirt to feel close to him.
That's the fucking bat signal.

Edit: ok, so OP clarified that she didn't say that to him at the time.

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u/NakedTitan 11d ago edited 11d ago

Back when it actually happened, she made it sound like she decided to wear my shirt to bed because she randomly found it in her mountain of clean laundry and thought it looked kind of comfortable to sleep in. I don't know how she expected me to see through that and realize what was really going on when I couldn't even interpret the semi naked piggyback rides lol.

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u/bklynsnow 11d ago

Ok, then I apologize for my comment.
The naked piggy back rides are a pretty big miss though. Yikes.

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u/not_so_chi_couple 11d ago

For me it is the watching porn together. OP was worried about the awkward breakfast the next day if he said he found her attractive, but if you guys are cool with watching porn together you should be able to handle casually asking "hey, wanna do stuff"

The rest of these I can put down to friendly flirting that doesn't mean anything, and I respect OP for not risking making the roommate uncomfortable, but with that one you really should have at least asked "maybe you can help me next time"

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u/bklynsnow 11d ago

Yeah, I've never watched porn with a friend. Ever

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u/NakedTitan 11d ago

Lol you're 100% right. But realistically what was I supposed to do in that situation? Put her down after the piggyback ride and assume sex needs to happen next? I thought real life isn't like porn lol.

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u/nopethis 11d ago

I mean there are times when it is exactly like porn, especially if you are both watching it….

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u/humboldt77 11d ago

You get her to her room, but are suddenly unbalanced by her weight on your back and both fall playfully onto her bed. If she doesn’t push you off immediately, you turn toward her and asked what she thought of the ride… that’s her opening to say she has a different ride in mind.

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u/bklynsnow 11d ago

Go on...

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u/g0liadkin 11d ago Gold

Then you look straight to her eyes, roll back yours and ask if you look like Storm from X-Men

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u/bklynsnow 11d ago

Ohhhh yeeeeaaaah.

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u/Decipher 11d ago

Then she puts on her robe and wizard cap.

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u/rick_or_morty 11d ago

Go on...

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u/Sheyvan 11d ago

Ok,... but did you at least have sex AFTER she told you and you two laughed about it?!?

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u/Hi_ImTrashsu 11d ago

It’s also possible that she developed an interest in you because you respected her as a person. As much as this is a missed opportunity, you were a positive memory in her life.

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u/KnowledgeIsDangerous 11d ago

now that I finally know what I've been missing out on, it's too late to do anything about it because my roommate is moving overseas.

Bro, you had one more night. What did you do with it??

YOU HAD ONE MORE NIGHT

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u/RED_wards 11d ago

I feel for you, I can be just as oblivious. Even when girls were more direct than that I was too awkward to move on it.

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u/NakedTitan 11d ago

I wonder which is worse. Being oblivious to obvious signs or becoming aware of the signs but not being able to do something about it. We're hopeless either way lol.

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u/thatjerkatwork 11d ago

I cant completely relate to your exact situation but as a 40 something year old there is a memory bank for me containing women/situations that I look back on and facepalming. I imagine it is like that for many men/women out there so you are definitely not alone!

Did you at least have a send off romp? Setting up the go visit her in the near future romp?!

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u/HandHurtsSendHelp 11d ago

Yeah, these seem like a lot of obvious signals, but she also carries some responsibility for not taking the initiative herself. Nothing is more surefire to make intentions and desires clear than just saying, "Hey, I'm into you. Are you into me?"

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u/obviousillusion 11d ago

Hey that's how I met my wife. She made the first move and the rest is history.

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u/samfitnessthrowaway 11d ago

I mean, a porn exchange is kind of taking the initiative. But I agree that a porn exchange followed by a wink and a 'how about it then' would have probably gotten the message across better.

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u/SuperfluousMainMan 11d ago

Nah, if she's Canadian, she's probably still just being polite, you never know

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u/JAK3CAL 11d ago

A piggy back ride after a shower to the bedroom? Nah totally normal! Like brother and sister!

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u/baltinerdist 11d ago edited 11d ago Gold Wholesome

This, a thousand times. "I gave you all kinds of hints." That doesn't work at Pizza Hut, why would that work in a romantic or sexual context?

"I've been thinking about a certain type of pizza but I'm not sure if they would be able to give it to me."

"Okay, what kind of pizza do you want?"

"We're both in this pizza place, wouldn't it be crazy if we ate pizza?"

"Okay, what kind of pizza?"

"You've got a lot of great toppings, anyone would love to have a pizza from you."

"What. Kind. Of. Pizza. Do. You. Want."

"My last pizza place didn't know how to make a good pizza. I bet you make a good pizza."

"I've got other customers in line, are you ordering a pizza or not?"

"Why don't you tell me what you like in a pizza and maybe see if I like the same things, too?"

Pizza Hut employee stabs himself in temple.

Edit: Someone gave this comment gold. It would be a good thing if they got thanked for giving me an award. Let's tell stories to each other about how we got gold in the past but we really think we're ready for a different kind of award.

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u/za72 11d ago

It's ok, it took me twenty years to realize that a girl I had a crush on invited me to her place while her parents were out after I dropped her off from a movie... I'm stupid

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u/KirKami 11d ago edited 11d ago

Wow... This is really impressive level of thickness in your skill to not notice this. Maybe you can break walls with your head. But she too at this point could've just explain everything. Communication is everything.

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u/Mrminecrafthimself 11d ago

To be fair though, I have known folks who started fucking their roommates and that really screwed up their relationships with each other

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u/LateyEight 11d ago Take My Energy

He sees himself as storm but everyone else just sees him as the juggernaut.

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u/blahbuzz 11d ago

Such a missed opportunity, but the major takeaway is you are genuinely a good person for creating a healthy, safe and respectful living environment. I hope you two cross paths later in life and end up together. In my youth, I missed my chance with a wonderful woman due to my insecurities. Fourteen years later, we crossed paths and she is my everything now. I'm on the sidelines cheering for you my guy.

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u/deadliestcrotch 11d ago

Honestly, you did the right thing, if even on accident. 25 year old me would be calling you an idiot for missing a great opportunity but 39 year old me knows it would have been a pretty huge risk.

Starting a relationship with a platonic roommate can be problematic because you’re testing your boundaries with someone you literally already live with, and if it turns out not to be a good fit it can make the remainder of the lease awkward as fuck. If she weren’t leaving the country I would say that now would be a great time to test things out.

This is just an overall missed opportunity with bad timing. Sounds like you two are a good fit personality-wise, but romantically and sexually, who knows.

Bummer.

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u/CoolKouhai 11d ago

The only hint she didn't give was saying "wanna bang?"

I get you, man. It's hard to take the first step.

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u/_343_Guilty_Spark__ 11d ago

“Do I look like Storm from X-Men” 💀

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u/fake-fan99 11d ago

Your life sounds like one of those rom-com anime where the main character is dense AF and so oblivious to the fact that other girls are attracted to him.

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u/84FSP 11d ago

I was joyfully oblivious to the advances of women I really loved and respected for years. It’s missed opportunity but at least you weren’t skeazy to your room mate. You were obviously good friends and made her feel safe. She’ll remember your friendship fondly.

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u/boersc 11d ago

Women of reddit, read this and know: men don't do 'signals'. Blurt it out when you're interested in a guy. We really, really don't get it otherwise.

(Yes, that's how dense we are)

Also, nothing more attractive than a woman making the first move

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u/Imahorrible_person 11d ago

I'm my single days, I missed out on a few encounters by being oblivious. This one chick that used to come into my work still causes me to want to slap myself. But dude, in the future, any time a woman watches porn with you, she's trying to fuck.

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u/heybdiddy 11d ago

As a clueless guy, I can relate to this. After a female roommate moved in to our apartment she mentioned to me that she didn't like to wear clothes at home that much. She cautioned that she would never get involved with a roommate. She was gorgeous, I said "cool". I enjoyed the small samplings that I would get when she'd shower with the door open and walk back to her room with the only towel around her hair. I could live with her rules if i got to enjoy the beauty. It wasn't till later when I hooked up with a mutual friend that I was told that she (my roomate) thought I was gay because "duh". I also found out that she never paraded naked around any other roomate.

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u/CHEEZOR 11d ago

Yeah, that's her fault. Good on you for respecting her boundaries that she clearly stated.

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u/anonomy_oh_my 11d ago

Yeah, that one's not on you if she specifically said that she would never get involved with a roommate. You were just respectful to what she said regardless of any signals that could be misinterpreted. So, she was the dumb one there for not being more clear that there might be an exception to her rule.

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