r/funny 10d ago Dread 1 Gold 1 Take My Energy 1 Burning Cash 1 I'll Drink to That 1

I told my wife that Rupert Murdoch's chin disturbed me. She replied to me with this.

Post image
88.9k Upvotes

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3.0k

u/kungfu_panda_express 10d ago

His chin suspiciously looks like a Muppet.

921

u/BenTwan 10d ago Silver All-Seeing Upvote

I was thinking more along the lines of Cotton Hill.

392

u/United-Cockroach-980 10d ago

I was fourteen, just a little older than Bobby. But I knew Uncle Sam needed me, so I lied and signed up. We had beat the Nazzys in Italy, and they shipped me to the Pacific theater. A Tojo torpedo sent our troupe's ship to the bottom. I could only save three of my buddies, Fatty, Stinky, and Brooklyn. They were kind of like you fellas, only one of them was from Brooklyn. Out of the sun came a Tojo Zero and put fifty bullets in my back. The blood attracted sharks. I had to give 'em Fatty. Then things took a turn for the worse. I made it to an island, but it was full of Tojos! They were spitting on the U.S. flag! So I rushed 'em, but it was a trap. They opened fire and blew my shins off. Last thing I remember, I beat 'em all to death with a big piece of Fatty. I woke up in a field hospital, and they were sewing my feet to my knees.

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u/daintysinferno 10d ago

Omfg thank you for posting this. I read it perfectly in Cotton’s voice lol

35

u/Redoubt9000 10d ago edited 10d ago

Hank's explanation to Peggy of his father's service was always such a poignant moment. It's the ep where she was wheelchair bound and Cotton took it upon himself to help with her physical therapy. And we know how Cotton is... Peggy's helping with Cotton's application for a burial spot at a VA cemetery, when it comes to light that all of his exploits he spouts off may not be entirely founded in truth (seriously...?), making Peggy question Cotton's entire service record.

Peggy: "What was I thinking? Munich? Rat tails? He's no hero, he was just torturing me. He is a complete fraud."

Hank: mutters something

Peggy: "What? What are you muttering, are you actually trying to defend him?"

Hank: "That fraud used to be 6'4". When he came back from the Pacific, he was 5' even. A Japanese machine gun blew away his shins. The doctors said he'd never walk again. 18 months later, he walked right over to that doctor, reached up, and punched him in the kidneys."

"Now, I can't prove what he did at those battles. Fact, I don't even know if the part about hitting the doctor is true but, I do know that my Dad doesn't have shins. And somehow he walks, and that's pretty heroic to me. And that is what I was muttering."

11

u/GonzoRouge 10d ago

That's one of my favourite moments in the show. Cotton is a piece of shit through and through. He lies as he breathes, insults virtually everyone at any chance he gets and is especially cruel to his own son.

Yet, Hank makes a good point. Cotton is hard boiled as one can be and that willpower is undoubtedly what allowed him to survive getting his shins blown off and eventually walk.

No one can take that away from him and I think that is his one endearing feature: there's no one as badass as Cotton and it's not even close.

25

u/XAMOTA 10d ago

I didn't want you; I wanted a boy!!

5

u/cornylamygilbert 10d ago

Pump jockey! Works for tips!

4

u/peoplerproblems 10d ago

"I killed fitty men!"

9

u/Bad_brazilian 10d ago

Is that Danny de Vito's origin story?

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u/TrespassersWilliamTW 10d ago

ITS DEFINITELY COTTON HILL. Dude looks like he's about to go steal a wooden leg with his buddies from the legion

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u/zakress 10d ago

Cotton ‘Fiddy Men’ Hill

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u/L0ckeandDemosthenes 10d ago

I was thinking Bart finally started showing his age.

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u/BlindWillieJohnson 10d ago edited 10d ago

Dance your cares away!

Clap clap

Worries for anoooother day

Let the music play

Clap clap

Down in Fraggle Rock!

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u/Armstrongt479 10d ago

I see the blobfish

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u/nobdyputsbabynacornr 10d ago

Just like Statler to be precise. I bet he heckles just like him too!

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u/[deleted] 10d ago edited 1h ago

[deleted]

55

u/NovemberComingFire 10d ago

I was thinking the Rock Guy from The Neverending Story.

18

u/kinkyslc1 10d ago

They look like big, good, strong hands, don't they?

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

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u/DukeOfGeek 10d ago

"They were good, strong hands"

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u/Moleculor 10d ago

Someone showed me that movie when I was six.

That was the scene that broke me.

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u/cemyl95 10d ago

What's that from?

53

u/drunk_horses 10d ago

It was the hands in the Labyrinth. That movie starring David Bowies cock.

29

u/TuckerCarlsonsOhface 10d ago

His bulge is pretty mesmerizing in some of those scenes. Even if you wanted to look away, you couldn’t, but you don’t. It’s the power of voodoo.

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u/tekko001 10d ago

OPs wife could put eyes and eyebrows on it too

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u/djshadesuk 10d ago

That movie starring David Bowies cock.

🤣🤣

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u/DBeumont 10d ago

It was the hands in the Labyrinth. That movie starring David Bowies cock.

Be fair now: his balls were also major costars.

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u/Corfiz74 10d ago

Homer Simpson! His chin is Homer Simpson! Though Murdoch as a whole looks more like Homer's father.

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u/not_aquarium_co-op 10d ago

Bro has OG grandpa Simpson on his chin

7

u/daitenshe 10d ago

If he does some googly eyes on his scrotum chin, he can do both Statler and Waldorf at the same time!

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u/foodude84 10d ago

Like a combination of Stadler and Waldorf

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u/EvadesBans 10d ago

His chin looks like it killed fiddy men.

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u/AspectDefiant 10d ago

I hate it, too

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u/MiamiPower 10d ago

It's more like an old version of Fox Simpsons animation domination

3

u/BertMacGyver 10d ago

It immediately reminded me of that worried monkey meme Muppet so I made this.

3

u/Spock_the_difference 10d ago

His upside down chin looks suspiciously like his normal face :-/

3

u/djnato10 10d ago

His chin suspiciously looks like Rupert Murdoch.

2

u/TrumpsPissSoakedWig 10d ago

I see Homer Simpson...

Blobfish Homer Simpson, I guess.

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u/dust- 10d ago

just like kel knight, he's lookin very jowly

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u/zelda23710312 10d ago

That’s his whole head.

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u/sundialgrowers1 10d ago

Or a shit emoji 💩

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u/Xlh883dragster 10d ago

Cotton Hill.

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u/Shimbo43 10d ago

Definitely the first thing I saw!

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u/Cool-Salamander-7645 10d ago

It killed fiddy men

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u/TrespassersWilliamTW 10d ago

you're laotian... ain't ya mr kahn

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u/PavelDatsyuk 10d ago

Are ya Chinese or Japanese?

44

u/Shimbo43 10d ago edited 9d ago

I knew I wasn't alone. 1st thing I saw.

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u/thisissteve 10d ago edited 10d ago

I saw Rupert Murdochs chin steal the leg of Santa Anna.

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u/MAXQDee-314 10d ago

Wrong leg!

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u/Equivalent_Scheme175 10d ago

Wife: Allow me to make that MORE DISTURBING!

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u/ZootownMT 10d ago

Mupert Rurdoch

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u/ButtcrackScholar 10d ago

Russet Murdoch

Can't tell me that thing doesn't look like a potato

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u/IwillBeDamned 10d ago

What kind of fucked up potatos are you getting

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u/PepperShaken 10d ago

His chin is one of the least disturbing things about him. He's feces in human form.

427

u/AppORKER 10d ago

Waiting for him to kick the bucket. The biggest assholes tend to live long lives.

172

u/SomeOtherRandomHuman 10d ago

It turns out hate is a preservative.

81

u/coolmint859 10d ago

I want to say it's because it's low effort. Having empathy and compassion takes more effort to sustain, so perhaps it uses up more a person's "mental energy" throughout their lifetime.

37

u/ungratefulidiot 10d ago

I'm pretty sure it's just that he's rich and can afford good healthcare

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u/YetAnotherRCG 10d ago

So does hate to be honest. It’s not at all a nice emotion is draining and unpleasant to be hateful.

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u/MC1000 10d ago

He's not hateful. He's indifferent. A very important distinction.

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u/TerribleNameAmirite 10d ago

Finally someone gets it - they just don’t care

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u/GrumbleGrimm 10d ago

Except wealth. They care about their personal wealth.

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u/WHYAREWEALLCAPS 10d ago

The word you're looking for is psychopath.

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u/MC1000 10d ago

Yep, emotional indifference is a prerequisite for being a psychopath.

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u/glintsCollide 10d ago

Well yes, but that might be because you're an emphatic human, I'm guessing hate comes easy to him.

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u/FlamboyantPirhanna 10d ago

No, hate definitely requires a furnace to make it burn, and burns everything around it. Also causes physical tension, which isn’t good for the body. While empathy might need to be cultivated, it generally happens passively. It can result in intense emotions, but not necessarily on the same level. The thing is Murdock likely doesn’t actively hate anyone, he just knows how to manipulate other people’s hate to in turn acquire money.

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u/CDK5 10d ago

What about all those movies & tv shows claiming it's much easier to love something than hate it?

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u/SquareBusiness6951 10d ago

That’s why everyone should try Rupert Murdoch’s beef jerky! The only jerk preserved with hatred.

That’s also why he looks like beef jerky.

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u/squags 10d ago

Unfortunately Lachlan isn't any better really and has been groomed to take over for a long time. I wouldn't get too hopeful about anything drastically changing about the Murdoch empire's MO following Rupert's death.

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u/Szechwan 10d ago

Still, would be nice to see him kick the bucket either way

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u/FuckingKilljoy 10d ago

Yeah it's not because I expect anything to change, it's just because it'll be nice to know he's gone and that all the money in the world isn't gonna help

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u/zedispain 10d ago

I kinda feel bad for the brother that bailed.

He was empathetic, smart and had a good view on the world. He would have been perfect to change the media landscape for the better.

But i completely understand why he escaped the hell that is that family. Just wish he took one for the team, as it were. If he just sucked up to daddy dearest and when that fucker died, reverted to his normal self once he took ownership of the Sith Empire....

Well. He would be considered a saint 100 years from now and revered as one of the greats that had a positive influence in media throughout all of history.

But i totally get it. Poor sod. I wish him the happiest and most fulfilling life possible, for the life he had to endure up until his escape. He deserves it.

It's like the people related to Hitler. But they went a bit extreme in my opinion... But i totally respect their decision to not continue their lineage.

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u/pocketdare 10d ago

I remember several articles that conjectured endlessly about who was going to inherit control over the media empire. One of them would likely follow in the footsteps of his father's divisive, yet profitable path. The other wanted to modernize the publication and work to reduce polarization.

I was like, hmmm, yeah I wonder who will win that battle.

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u/zedispain 10d ago

Indeed. Thus he left that ridiculously toxic world his father made.

Poor sod. But hey. He's getting the quiet life he wanted. So that must be nice.

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u/Hannibal_Rex 10d ago

We can always hope for Lachlan to die and James to inherent the reigns.

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u/paggo_diablo 10d ago

Wouldn’t it be nice if Lachlan was just acting like an asshole so he could inherit the company and then use it for good?

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u/Tubesteak_Tartar 10d ago

Henry Kissinger approves

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u/AppORKER 10d ago

I wouldn't doubt that they were tight at some point in life or at least some asshole to asshole respect.

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u/themanimal 10d ago

Holy shit that fucker is still alive?? He was old in the 80s!

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u/SomaforIndra 10d ago

now, HE, is drinking virgin blood and human baby lassis.

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u/burf12345 10d ago

I hear he feeds on the souls of dead Cambodians.

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u/FuckingKilljoy 10d ago

The cunt turns 100 in a few months

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u/Helmic 10d ago

Really wish some Cambodian could prevent that. Millions of lives ended so this dude could make himself seem important.

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u/snuff3r 10d ago

As does Phyllis Schlafly

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u/longpigcumseasily 10d ago

Even his own son hates him.

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u/Space_Monk_Prime 10d ago

The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural

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u/Prime_Mover 10d ago

Cunt's on the Kissinger level of damage to humanity.

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u/gruey 10d ago

I think Murdoch is an order of magnitude worse. He really is the architect of the split reality we find ourselves in. Kissinger did some horrible things, but Murdoch enabled an entire party to do horrible things. He has created a constituency that doesn't care if their side is corrupt or incompetent. Instead, they hate the rest of America with a passion. He has some of them ready for a civil war because they believe the Others are Destroying America and Coming For Them. There is no compromise that can be made because it's 100% emotional for them. And now you're getting more and more True Believers in office making a mockery of government.

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u/bondagewithjesus 10d ago edited 10d ago

I mean kissinger has the blood of millions on his hands and actively played a far greater role than murdoch in getting fascists into power. Kissinger was orchestrating fascist coups when murdoch hadn't even got a stranglehold on Australia yet before he did then moved his empire abroad in the US and the UK. If you think murdoch is worse than kissinger I suggest you learn more about what that evil piece of shit has done. Aldo if you think the democrats care about stopping corruption anymore than Republicans I have a bridge to sell you. Joe Biden has been a friend to the corporate world and Republicans for decades. This is not a problem of political parties but a problem of capitalism. Look at the UK the labour party unlike the democrats when formed was actually a workers party that challenged the status quo, now it's a party full of right leaning liberals who are no better than the democrats. Murdoch wasn't around in the 80s and 90s in america when both the democrats and Republicans both became pro war and fine with spreading fascism abroad. At least not in any meaningful capacity like today. Murdoch is a massive cunt but kissinger? He's the incarnation of Satan himself. Kissinger worked with both Republicans and democrats which alone makes him more dangerous. Hilary Clinton considers him a personal friend. Kissinger had real power, murdoch only has influence to power

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u/depressed-salmon 10d ago

That's completely uncalled for, feces has positive uses and benefits for the world.

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u/ukwonderboy 10d ago

That's an insult to shit which is infinitely more useful.

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u/PantsTents 10d ago

Yep a committed paedophile and Russian asset since the 70s.

The guy is utter scum and News International should burn for eternity.

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u/Crypt_Knight 10d ago edited 10d ago

Can I get a quick rundown of who exactly is this guy and why he is despised?

Edit : Why the hell am I getting downvoted? I just don't know the guy.

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u/mobilethrowaway14849 10d ago

Rupert Murdoch is responsible for most of the reactionary, disinformative garbage that ends up on your TV. Quick enough?

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u/Crypt_Knight 10d ago

Thanks for the heads up. I'm not American so I had no idea who this guy was.

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u/emberfiend 10d ago

He's originally Australian. He's destroyed society in his home country, the UK, and the US. As a fellow non-American, it is worth learning about him and News Corp.

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u/Crypt_Knight 10d ago

Thanks for the info, I'll keep that name in mind.

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u/rarebit13 10d ago

Here's a list of companies he controls. https://freeimage.host/i/H0zWA9s

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u/ODestruidor 10d ago

A quick rundown is that he’s almost the most powerful man in the world and he is the Bond villain version.

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u/shrodler 10d ago

Just Imagine having the Option to be a great Person and choosing Not to be simply by canceling firefly.

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u/notaliberal2021 10d ago

Your wife is a keeper.

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u/standells 10d ago

Thanks! I'll let her know.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

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u/trakums 10d ago

No Photoshop involved

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u/SuchSalad4 10d ago

The Baby from Dinosaurs was based on a true story.

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u/stipo42 10d ago

Rebooting the 90s ninja turtles movies?

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u/10YearLurkerPosting 10d ago

I also choose this guy's wife.

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u/Fuzzy_Muscle 10d ago

Looks like that decompressed blob fish

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u/e_j_white 10d ago

His chin has its own set of jowls.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

Can I be friends with your wife? Hilarious

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u/sessl 10d ago

I also choose this guys wife.

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u/Paulmanaitor 10d ago

Reminds me of this Red Dwarf clip. - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSZbzIHGj8U

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u/ooo-f 10d ago edited 10d ago

Maybe I'm woefully immature but I see balls and a chode

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u/zaphodava 10d ago

A lot of us see that when we look at him.

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u/Kimberlylynn2003 10d ago

I like your wife. She’s good people.

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u/standells 10d ago

She is! A human bean!

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u/LightReflections 10d ago

And a real hero

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u/mb_60 10d ago

My brother and I used to watch tv upside down and envision faces like this. I miss his weirdness.

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u/PensiveinNJ 10d ago

Why are all rich old assholes so jowly. Seriously they all have enormous fucking jowls like they're descended from bulldogs or some shit.

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u/Pycharming 10d ago

I think a lot of people in their 80s looks like that. We're just not used to seeing people that old on television. The actors who are that old have clearly had work done at some point. But when you're ultra rich, not just regular rich, you don't feel the need to keep up appearances the same way. Murdoch has no financial incentive to get cosmetic work done, and he seems happy dating much younger women who initially worked for him.

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u/Albatraous 10d ago

The price to pay when you put wealth above morals

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u/Kilomyles 10d ago

I can’t even make that face without my nose crinkling or my eyebrows going off. He must just have like 2 expressions.

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u/R8derfan70 10d ago

You married a keeper!

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u/princealbertnyourcan 10d ago

It's Grampa Simpson.

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u/rightfuckingthere 10d ago

This is all I can see.

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u/JHogg11 10d ago

Rupert Murdoch is a human palindrome.

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u/apocalypseconfetti 10d ago

It's basically fractal. Murdochs all the way down.

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u/funkydaffodil 10d ago

Please x-post this in r/Australia. They'll love it!

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u/BenjiBoyOZ 10d ago

Don't worry. Our pitchforks are sharpened and the lanterns are gassed.

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u/standells 10d ago

Haha ok will do!

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u/standells 10d ago

And.... they banned me.

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u/fighttodie 10d ago

This is why I'm not bothering getting rich. You look like shit and run shitty news orgs

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u/malleebull 10d ago

I may not be rich, but I can die satisfied that I have laid better looking turds than this cunt.

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u/Serinanda 10d ago

He pretty ok for being 90+

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u/sinfultictac 10d ago

I don't why but Cotton Hill's voice saying "I killed fiddy chins" came screaming into my brain.

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u/TheMixerTheMaster 10d ago

Grandpa Potato!

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u/nobdyputsbabynacornr 10d ago

They're both exactly the same, what a twist!

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u/LeveragedPittsburgh 10d ago

It’s the same picture

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u/Big_Treacle_2394 10d ago

Looks like the helping hands in labyrinth

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u/underlander 10d ago

Corporate wants you to find the difference between these two pictures.

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u/Baberuthless95 10d ago

I feel like Mitch McConnell still has the most bizarre chin to neck ratio ever invented. Man looks like a melted turkey.

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u/Rdaleric 10d ago

I am Tarka Dal of the Vindaloovian empire

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u/kavatch2 10d ago

I mean it’s satan working some poor old man like a meat puppet of course it’s scary.

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u/kyussorder 10d ago

You chose well, she is the one, congrats man.

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u/AvacadMmmm 10d ago

Nightmare fuel

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u/capybroa 10d ago

This is spousal abuse

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u/livluvlaflrn3 10d ago

Why do the most evil people in the world live so long? The ones that would burn the entire earth just so they could die with the most?

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u/HaikusAreMyKink 10d ago

Kill it with fire, please.

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u/pakistanstar 10d ago

That chin killed fiddy men

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u/BecauseOfTheImplic 10d ago

It's valid...but what the fuck?

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u/Jfonzy 10d ago

Chinception

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u/raptor-99 10d ago

I don’t know that that is, but let’s face it: he was not born in this neck of the woods

2

u/ROBOTN1XON 10d ago

It's Mr. Chin. Emergency call from Mr. Chin!

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u/OneGlitteringSecond 10d ago

I see a fat Homer. Doh!

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u/rellsell 10d ago

Gotta be weird having that on your face.

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u/pariahdiocese 10d ago

Aww, now It's just a helping friendly guy!

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u/mackinoncougars 10d ago

His chin looks like monkey bread

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u/JimJohnes 10d ago

He's like five hundred (dunno what's that in australian years)

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u/-dab8- 10d ago

“They look like such strong hands…”

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u/cagingthing 10d ago

Add glasses and it looks just like him

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u/brutal_bub 10d ago

Homer Chinson

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u/IllInstance7606 10d ago

Looks like abe simpson

2

u/Nostro-dumbass 10d ago

Still less disturbing than him as a person

2

u/loki1337 10d ago

Truly a modern day professor Quirrell

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u/Butthole__Pleasures 10d ago

Looks like Cotton Hill

2

u/vocalfreesia 10d ago

The world will truly be a better place once he's gone

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u/gozba 10d ago

Fuck rupert murdoch

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u/TakeshiKovacs46 10d ago

Everything about this fuckin slug is disturbing.

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u/inkhornart 10d ago

If it had his glasses he would make his own perfect skin muppet

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u/Early_Philosopher_26 10d ago

She’s a keeper bro

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u/Pnaul 10d ago

Guess I’m really blimpson yeah https://youtu.be/LfwJJ6s66GE

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u/osubusmaj 10d ago

Mr Potato Head’s racist, misogynistic grandpa who doesn’t mind the gays unless they’re in your face about it. Bruce or Stew or something.

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u/SpoonTownGetDown 10d ago

Look at that wrinkled up evil sausage.

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u/0706 10d ago

The sooner he dies the better.

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u/Dougnifico 10d ago

And to think this shriveled testicle of a human being might be the one that destroys democracy...

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u/savagekid108l9 10d ago

I can’t decide if his chin looks like a rotisserie chicken, or like his chin is frowning and shrugging it’s shoulders at the same time