r/AskReddit • u/Sad_Subawuu • Jan 26 '23
What’s an animal you want to cuddle with but can’t ?
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u/Gjappy Jan 26 '23
A seal
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Jan 26 '23
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u/LilCorbs Jan 26 '23
Neal McBeal, the Navy Seal
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u/Gjappy Jan 26 '23
😏 If it's a cute one, yes.
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u/cluelesspcventurer Jan 26 '23
Been to a beach full of seals. They stink like you wouldn't believe. It was rancid from 50 yards. Can't imagine cuddling one.
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u/CutEmOff666 Jan 26 '23
Snow leopard.
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u/ThatGuy8 Jan 26 '23
My girl is a vet. She got to pet the tail of a sedated one. Softer than you can ever imagine according to her.
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u/Coldkane Jan 27 '23
See this type of information is not what I need. Now it just makes me even more sad that I can't cuddle one.
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u/ShruteFarms4L Jan 26 '23
Deer shit... Majestically stand on the highway and make people who text and drive regret texting and driving
Edit: typo
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u/Ferreteria Jan 26 '23
That is a great story, and you have *way* more willpower than I have.
Actually, come to think of it, I did find a newborn deer in the woods and managed to not touch it. We did set our own newborn child near it for group pictures though.
And there was that time we found two newborn fawns on an island while canoeing on a river. I guess I didn't touch those either. Maybe I have more willpower than I thought.
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u/witchy71 Jan 26 '23
Bear 🤷♂️ big floof
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u/lola_altair Jan 26 '23
Why tiny cute ears of not for snuggle?!🙁
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u/witchy71 Jan 26 '23
Exactly!
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u/karmagod13000 Jan 26 '23
maybe them killing us is a big misunderstanding, they just love too hard
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u/witchy71 Jan 26 '23
They don't understand we are too frail for their hugs :(
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u/SoMuchGarlic Jan 26 '23 edited Jan 26 '23
If we'd domesticated bears in the same way as wolves, we'd all have real life teddies to walk around with.
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u/witchy71 Jan 26 '23
Oh gosh don't make me regret this timeline 😂
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u/Spurgeoniskindacool Jan 26 '23
its not too late. lets get on this! lets breed bears for small size and docility. even if we cant have this, lets make this a better world for our grandchildren
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u/SoMuchGarlic Jan 26 '23
There will be countless maulings, but we'll be hailed as legends by the people of 10,000 years from now.
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u/Tamara0205 Jan 26 '23
When I see the cubs around my neighbourhood, they're so appealing. Just wanna play with them a bit. But their Mammas are so cranky about that, so we leave them alone. ;)
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u/Ikarian Jan 26 '23 •
Bears are close relatives to dogs. I just want to squish a bear’s nose one time gosh.
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u/LordHypnusablethe1st Jan 26 '23
Grizzly bears. They look like they'd give the best cuddles, when in reality they'll tear your face off.
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u/Big_Hat2112 Jan 26 '23
Lions and tigers and bears…
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u/jaiehhatihati Jan 26 '23
If dangerous, why fluffy?
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u/InsertBluescreenHere Jan 26 '23
horseshoe crab not fluffy but also not dangerous
cuddle horseshoe crab
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Jan 26 '23
Raccoons
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u/To_Fight_The_Night Jan 26 '23
Probably not a smart thing to do but people HAVE domesticated raccoons. I had a neighbor with one that snuggled up on his lap on his front porch every day.
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u/PoochusMaximus Jan 26 '23
Gotta get them like SUPER fresh.
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u/beachgrl6 Jan 26 '23
My moms ex husband “rescued” one after he watched the mom get hit by a car. They’re like overly rambunctious cats with hands.
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u/Ferreteria Jan 26 '23
Young Racoons purr and make biscuits just like cats. They also love to ride around on your shoulder.
Adult raccoons are unholy terrors.
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u/purritowraptor Jan 26 '23
They've got little bandit masks, and little hands. And I know those little hands are capable of holding my big hands. And I want that to happen as soon as possible! (source)
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u/anxiousjellybean Jan 26 '23
My parrot. I used to cuddle with him but then we were homeless for a year and I wasn't able to spend high quality bonding time with him outside of his cage, so now he won't cuddle with me anymore.
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u/silvermining Jan 26 '23
awww man this hurts to read :(
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u/anxiousjellybean Jan 26 '23
I'm working on building our relationship back up. It's improving slowly.
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u/Skr000 Jan 26 '23
A sloth. I can just picture it slowly putting its arms around me.
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Jan 26 '23
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u/Phiction2 Jan 26 '23
Mine too. And that spitting, hissing, murderer is still alive.
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u/Pterodactyl_Souffle Jan 26 '23
Mom said she was sleeping. She lied. She lied!
Edit: Just trying to cheer you up. I am a lifelong cat owner too. I know what it feels like to lose a small friend. Try to feel better soon. Your friend would want you to remember the happy times with joy.
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u/Plotzwist Jan 26 '23
Wombats
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u/IceCreamLouise Jan 26 '23
I feel like of all Australian creatures this is one has the most non-lethal snuggle potential.
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u/Nao669 Jan 26 '23
Otters
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u/Affectionate_Arm6254 Jan 26 '23
Totoro. Mythical. But I wants him
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u/TruthH4mm3r Jan 26 '23
Well shit, man. If we're going fictional, sign me up for a flying bison.
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u/Feisty_Whole_7375 Jan 26 '23
My parents cat who has inexplicably decided it hates the sight of me
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u/Ferreteria Jan 26 '23
Trade you.
I'm a cat person, but I have this one cat I found in an abandoned house, emaciated. I rescued the little bastard, but I hate him and he knows it. Reason: he peed on my board game shelf more than once, and often refuses to go outside to do his business like the other cat does.
Yet he still comes up and jumps on my lap for pets. And he drools. Stupid cat.
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u/Pronominal_Tera Jan 26 '23
A god damn capybara
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u/gandyg Jan 26 '23
To be fair Capybara are so chill they'd probably let you.
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u/Drando_HS Jan 26 '23
They actually do. People have them as actual pets - and not in the I'm-just-an-idiot-with-an-animal way.
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Jan 26 '23
Pallas' Cat
They look so grumpy, but so dang cute!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEFGfu_tHsA
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u/Drumbz Jan 26 '23
A Jaguar
They look so soft and are strong enough you can hug them however strong you want it wont hurt em. Big toe beans. Cute ears. Very deadly.
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u/doubleflush Jan 26 '23
hippo
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u/-PyramidHead Jan 26 '23
Baby hippos are freaking adorable and then they grow up into stinky abominations that are vegetarian but want to kill you just for the fun of it
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Jan 26 '23
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u/allongur Jan 26 '23
It's illegal to cuddle a koala in half the Australian states because it stresses the koalas out. You probably shouldn't.
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u/CanNeverRememberDis Jan 26 '23
Also.. chlamydia.
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u/GreenStrong Jan 26 '23
We need to talk about our definition of cuddle. I'm very concerned about your kittens.
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u/apathetic_revolution Jan 26 '23
I've read the issue is that koalas pee on people who try to pick them up and that's how the chlamydia supposedly gets passed. Assuming you believe those sicko koala handlers.
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u/xfalinex Jan 26 '23
You can absolutely experience that and it’s not as expensive as you might think. Just be warned their claws are sharp as hell and they grip tight for security, so thick clothing is recommended. You don’t get to hug them exactly as it’s stressful for them but they are very fluffy and you can pat their fluff whilst holding (the handler will likely feed it eucalyptus leaves to keep it happy whilst holding)
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Jan 26 '23
Bees
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u/SoMuchGarlic Jan 26 '23
A swarm, or maybe a pug-sized single bee?
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Jan 26 '23
I want to cuddle one bee. But pug sized is a little smaller than what I'm wanting
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u/SoMuchGarlic Jan 26 '23
How about a swarm of bee sized pugs?
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Jan 26 '23
How about one horse sized bee that's been taxidermied into a bean bag chair. (after a life time of hugs from me)
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u/Athompson9866 Jan 27 '23
Hill kitties also purr.
That’s what I call mountain lions so that it doesn’t sound so dangerous.
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u/Psych100011 Jan 26 '23
Baby elephants.
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u/Expensive-Ad-4508 Jan 26 '23
Same. For real. If I could do anything before I die, it would be to feed and cuddle and play with a baby elephant for a few hours.
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u/tubbis9001 Jan 26 '23
Canada geese. They are the perfect size for hugging...
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u/PoisonWaffle3 Jan 26 '23 •
Geese are adorable but evil creatures. They have teeth on their tongues.
Source: https://youtu.be/Xv9UZEOFsVw
And if you want to cuddle a cute little baby goose, be prepared to be murdered by it's mother.
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u/KingoftheMongoose Jan 26 '23
If a goose didn't have a head then I imagine, theoretically and hypothetically with no factual knowledge to support, that the goose would be much easier to cuddle with.
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u/Sad-Raise-754 Jan 26 '23
Timber wolf
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u/ES-Flinter Jan 26 '23
I will go with grey/ polar wolves.
Smaller but with them living in colder regions is their fur hopefully thicker.
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u/08Manifest_Destiny80 Jan 26 '23
pallas cats. I saw one on tiktok and their fluffy fur is too tempting!
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u/punnymama Jan 26 '23
A Bear!!! The animal kind not the man kind.
They look so fluffy 😍😍
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u/AnEven7 Jan 27 '23
A snow leopard. It looks like their fur would be super soft, and I would want to press my face into its fur and listen to it purring. I don't know if they can purr or not, but I would want purring.
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u/Cyborg_Ninja_Cat Jan 26 '23 edited Jan 26 '23
All of the pets I've said goodbye to over the years (Sam and Ben the rabbits, Katy, Poppy, and Ruby the cats, and my Grandma's dog Lucy) and also my parents' cat Lottie, who is fine but hates being held even though she is so ROUND and FLUFF that it's actually illegal.
ETA: or in the actual spirit of the question, snow leopard.
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u/Icy_Obsession Jan 26 '23
Kitten. Those small cats on Youtube are so cute.
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u/Cyborg_Ninja_Cat Jan 26 '23
See if your local shelter needs volunteers to visit and help socialise kittens.
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u/Covered-in-sheet Jan 26 '23
A polar bear, on how global warming is going i just wanna hug em tight
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u/Shudnawz Jan 26 '23
My old german shepherd/lab mix. Died almost 10 years ago. Still miss his floppy ears and drooly face. Huge dog, and the friendliest I've ever met. Bit of a bastard to take on walks, because he was CERTAIN everyone wanted to greet him, so he just walked right up to them.
RIP
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u/gildorratner Jan 26 '23
I find skunks unbelievably cute... but seeing one induces more anxiety than I have felt encountering any other wild animals... I live in a city in North America so very few deadly creatures.
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u/fxelite Jan 26 '23
Platypus
Sadly the venom from their spurs is supposed to be extremely painful and the affects can last a long time.
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u/Cabbage785c Jan 26 '23
Red panda all day long