r/AskReddit 11d ago

Men of Reddit, what’s one thing you will never understand about women? NSFW

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u/shartnado3 10d ago Silver Masterpiece Evil Cackle

Based on the amount of hair I have seen in the bathroom, and that I somehow still keep finding in my clothes/buttcrack, how do you still have so much hair on your head?

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u/im_not_bovvered 10d ago Awesome Answer

We don't know either.

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u/bottomlesspi 10d ago

Right? No fucking clue!

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u/peachpie_888 10d ago

Genuinely pleasantly surprised every day that I don’t wake up bald based on the state of my hairbrush at the end of the week if left to exist.

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u/sissichu 10d ago

Male with long hair here. Living with girlfriend who also has long hair, and two cats. Our apartment is constantly covered in hair. I have no idea how no one of us is bald.

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u/tryingmydarnbest 10d ago

Lol I love how literally every post is followed by women saying they don’t know either lol

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u/HorsCokChooi 10d ago edited 10d ago

I'm a dude with long hair. The amount of hair that fell off during a shower didn't change from when I had shorter hair but it just looks like a lot more because each strand is longer

Edit: Spelling (misspelled shower and got everybody confused lol)

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u/et0930 10d ago

As a male who's had long hair in the past. It makes no sense. I'd pull out heads worth of hair just by combing it or running my fingers through it, and yet a always had a full and luscious head of hair

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u/I_forgot_to_respond 10d ago

You sound like you might be under 40.Enjoy your hair! (no /s)

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u/WhiskeyFF 10d ago

I feel if it's still thick and luscious by 40 you're gonna be good permanently

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u/Bratbabylestrange 10d ago

My dad's was only a little thin on the crown of his head when he passed away at 55. My grandpa had a thick ol' head of hair with only a little gray in it when he died at 79. He was combing Vitalis through it every day until the very end.

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u/ElectricSky87 10d ago

My dog and I have this in common

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u/BoxGroundbreaking687 10d ago

ngl even as a guy with long i hair i gotta say its the thing i hate about long hair it gets everywhere

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u/Flamin_Jesus 10d ago

Don't care, I like the long hair, although I hope evolution introduces some kind of Hair2.0 that just dissolves in the buttcrack.

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u/KiwiNervous8740 10d ago

Because the hairs fall out/grow in cycles. You're supposed to lose around 100 strands of hair a day. New ones will take their place and also eventually fall out

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u/shartnado3 10d ago

Can you tell the top of my head hair growth comes in cycles please?

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u/Firaxyiam 10d ago

Well sadly some hair growth skipped the cycle meetings so they stopped at the "lose 100 strands per day" part. Gotta try to arrange a new session to pass the memo but they can be stubborn

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u/onamonapizza 10d ago

Are you planting hair ties and bobby pins everywhere to mark your territory?

This actually came up in a previous relationship when my girlfriend (at the time) found a "foreign" bobby pin in one of the bathroom drawers, and freaked out about it until I casually explained that she is in fact not the first girlfriend I ever had and that I don't go through and scrub every square inch of my apartment after a breakup.

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u/JanuaryWinterflame 10d ago

Don't worry, they disappear as soon as you're actively looking for one.

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u/kanst 10d ago

I am a man and have been growing my hair out recently.

I had my first ball of hair in the shower the other day and I found my first random hair tie on the floor.

So I guess I am just saying, I think it just starts happening when your hair gets long enough.

Also putting bobby pins on your finger tips is a good ol time.

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u/drewknukem 10d ago

Easiest way I can explain what's going on with hair ties is they're like socks.

You can try to be really good at organizing and keeping track of the laundry. Some people can do it really well.

But if you don't make an active effort to, they teleport to Narnia and you find them 6 months later in the place you could swear you looked for them before.

So it's easier just to buy a bunch and accept they'll end up everywhere.

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u/supercharr 10d ago

I caught one of my exes cheating on me because I found a blonde bobby pin in his room. I did not have blonde hair. He fessed up shortly after.

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u/Zihark53 10d ago edited 10d ago

Why are women clothing sizes all over the place? One store a size 4 could be a 9 at a different store.

Edit: Woah this comment exploded.

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u/TattooedWenchkin 10d ago All-Seeing Upvote

We don't get it either, and we don't like it. The fashion industry refuses to standardize sizes, make bras for well endowed women at a reasonable price, or put useable pockets on our clothing. It's fucking MADDENING.

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u/Thincoln_Lincoln 10d ago

I’m convinced that the small pockets r/conspiracy is solely for the makers of purses

Just buy big boy pants until they fold — trust me, dudes love the looks of y’all wearing our clothes

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u/codeslave 10d ago

Yes, but I still want my hoodie back.

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u/queenlesbian99 10d ago

This is a topic most of us rant about at LEAST twice a month, if not every time we go clothes shopping. My best friend says women’s sizing depends on your horoscope and your immediate proximity to a chicken.

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u/blueocean43 10d ago

So that's why I can never find my size! Too far from a chicken. That and my body looks like it's made of a bunch of non-matching parts from the spares bin.

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u/Grave_Girl 10d ago

Part of it is vanity sizing--what's a size 8 now was a size 12 or so a generation or two ago. Part of it's cheapened methods of production. There was actually a post in /r/pics I think last week where a guy showed two pairs of Levi's jeans that were marked with the same waist size but were obviously about three or four inches apart. The difference was the country they were made in. You'd think an inch is an inch, but evidently not.

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u/prolixdreams 10d ago

I once ordered a pair of jeans.

They almost fit, but I like my jeans snug. I ordered the next size down.

The new ones -- same company, same product (allegedly), one size down -- were bigger somehow.

Seriously, what the fuck.

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u/NotRoryWilliams 10d ago

An inch is absolutely not an inch. https://i.imgur.com/G7vBVpx.jpg

Behold this tape measure I got from Amazon. It’s labeled as inches but each “inch” is three centimeters. It turns out there’s a local unit in China that apparently is commonly confused for an inch. And it results in all sorts of stuff on Amazon being incorrectly labeled. This tape measure came with a product that claimed to be 24 inches across that was actually 28. But I think sometimes the conversion goes backwards because I’ve seen a lot of reports of unexpectedly small items from China.

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u/faloop1 10d ago

Size doesn’t mean shit in women’s clothes. I can be anything from extra small to large. Those are like half the sizes commonly available! I just never buy anything I can’t try on ir return anymore

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u/GBgabe13 10d ago Silver

why are their pockets so small?

who started this?

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u/rockettdarr 10d ago

lmao I wear men’s pants because of this. Those shallow pockets couldn’t hold an m&m

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u/FANTOMphoenix 10d ago edited 10d ago

Look at pants designed for fishing ;)

Breathable, cargo pants with low-ish profile pockets.

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u/rockettdarr 10d ago

Oh rlly? Okay thanks I’ll take a look :)

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u/butter_milk 10d ago

Pockets went away because 20th century fashion silhouettes were too slim for pockets, cost of installing pockets makes manufacturers not include them in designs, and women’s clothing is made of weaker fabrics that aren’t suitable for pockets. The purse industry thing is a myth. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W2zSSE9pgC8

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u/Effective-Gift6223 10d ago

Women's clothing industry sucks. Cheap flimsy material, often badly sewn, no pockets or too small pockets. Some things start coming apart the first time you wash them. So I mostly wear men's clothes. Since I mostly wear shorts and tank tops all summer, t-shirts and sweat pants in the winter, who cares. I am not a clothes horse and don't give a rat's ass about fashion.

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u/veggieq 10d ago

Fake pockets are the most infuriating thing too!

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u/therealfrankpenny 10d ago Gold Helpful All-Seeing Upvote Ally

Starting a conversation, then continuing the conversation after walking into another room where you can't be heard.

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u/TheTruist1 10d ago Gold

Or out of nowhere starting up part of the way into a conversation where the first part obviously took place internally.

…we need to be informed of how the conversation was going in the previous venue, and whether the in-your-head version of ourselves started any fires we need to put out.

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u/remotetissuepaper 10d ago

My wife said to me the other day "You weren't even listening, were you?" I thought that was an odd way to start a conversation...

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u/nomad_kk 10d ago Facepalm

My wife once got mad at me for not telling her that SHE had changed her mind about something.

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u/Devrol 10d ago

I've been in trouble with my wife for:

-Doing something in one of her dreams

-Because of the possibility of one of her friends doing something annoying

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u/Bridgebrain 10d ago

I dated a girl like this once. Half the time was wonderful, half the time she seemed to hate me out of nowhere. Took a while to figure out that she preferred having serious conversations with In-Her-Head me, so we'd have fun but if something went wrong I wouldn't know about it until things were already exploding

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u/LordoftheSynth 10d ago

At least you could dump her. Try having a sibling like that.

Took a long time to realize that even IRL they were still having conversations with In-Their-Head Me. Usually in the form of a belittling abusive rant they called "advice".

They're no longer welcome in my life because I finally got sick of the abuse.

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u/machismo_eels 10d ago

My wife will always start talking to me right as I’ve walked out the door and it’s about to latch closed. If I’m carrying something big and heavy like the garbage then it’s a virtual guarantee.

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u/Tejasgrass 10d ago

My boss does this. At this point my (internal) rule is if he can’t see me I’m going to pretend I can’t hear him.

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u/Dependent_Top_4425 10d ago

My boyfriend does this and it drives me MAD! He's soft spoken anyway and then tries to talk to me while I'm washing dishes, or in the bathroom with the fan on. I will say "what?" and then he'll laugh because he thinks that meant I was astounded at what he said. If I do get him to repeat what he said, it will only be the last 3 words. Then I have to say "tell me the whole sentence". And then I'll get 4 or 5 words, still not making sense. Then I have to define what a sentence is.

Sorry, am I still even on a relevant topic?

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u/PilskWeeb 10d ago

My ex-gf was like this! I could be rinsing dishes with the kitchen fan, dishwasher and oven running and she would claim that I had bad hearing when I could not hear her. I almost started believing her, until I realised I could here all om my coworkers and friends perfectly!

Sometimes she would semi-mumble, not really mumbling but not quite moving her lips enough to properly enunciate certain consonants. She would also never admit when she misspoke or used the wrong word. It was always, always my hearing that was the problem.

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u/SensualSideburnTrim 10d ago

Yeah, it's my hearing. This morning I heard my phone on vibrate. On a different floor in the house. I have to tell you, "Your phone is ringing," if your purse is more than 10 feet away. But it's my hearing.

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u/MrSurly 10d ago

Holy shit I feel better. Same thing. I'll be like "you hear that?" and she never does. But if I don't hear something she said, it's "you should get your hearing checked."

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u/california-whiskey 10d ago All-Seeing Upvote I'll Drink to That

im going to mcdonalds, want anything? no. *proceeds to eat all of my fries, bruh.

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u/Idontdanceforfun 10d ago

"I'll just have some of yours"

No I want all of mine, that's the point. I'll just get 2 and finish yours.

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u/HYDN250 10d ago

"I just wanted a few."

Okay, but I wanted all of mine.

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u/FANTOMphoenix 10d ago

Went to Costco with my father and grandmother.

We all ate there, I got a single pizza slice, my dad got 2 hotdogs, my grandmother claimed she wasn’t hungry, so after just sitting there for 20 minutes just chilling after a good day of physical work, we decided to grab more food for the ride home.

I got 2 more slices of pizza.

she stole a slice…. I’m still pissed about that day.

We asked multiple, multiple times if she was hungry, and the pizza was only $1 a slice.

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u/Jessiefrance89 10d ago

Only a bit related but it’s been nearly 3 years and I’m still pissed about the pizza I brought home and my aunt, who lived with us for a while, ate it. Her excuse was ‘it sat in there for days!’ No. It sat in there for one day and I was going to have it for dinner.

Do not touch my leftovers. At least ask. If I don’t want all of it I’ll tell you to have some or go ahead and eat it all. But pizza will never be one of those things.

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u/CoolMoo5e 10d ago

Always order 2x your order for these situations I learned that real quick with in the 1st time of "do you want anything?"

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u/bluesboyyy 10d ago

I've learned not to ask open ended questions like that. "I'm getting two burgers and a large fry. You want medium fries or large? Extra pickles and onion on your burger?" this really cut down on her eating my food.

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u/aksdb 10d ago

Opt-out instead of opt-in. Are you working in marketing by chance?

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u/KeptAnonymous 10d ago

Why are women's clothing so thin?

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u/MikeHuntessHarry69 10d ago

I think Its cauase the clothing companies . soon Im gonna say fuck it and make my own clothes,

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u/Needmoresnakes 10d ago

Highly reccomend. I'm still not great at it but I started making my own underpants this year and I am so proud of myself.

It's not really money saving but once you get a couple patterns that you've adjusted juuuuust right it's amazing. It's also really fun adding little custom details.

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u/whatchlookinat 10d ago Take My Energy Bravo!

How a woman can instantly tap into the rage (with 0 energy loss) they experienced from an argument we had 2 years ago, and I don't even remember it happening.

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u/_Jaewill_ 10d ago

Some of us have storage specifically for past rage

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u/FelixGoldenrod 10d ago hehehehe

But where is this storage? Y'all don't even have pockets.

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u/sarahg1231 10d ago

It's stored in the part of our brain that can't decide what to eat.

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u/Knofbath 10d ago

That seems like a design defect. Not supposed to short-circuit Rage and Food like that.

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u/Ok-Check3447 10d ago

Hanger has entered the chat.

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u/_Jaewill_ 10d ago

Damn… I don’t even know what to say to that lmao

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u/Alcoraiden 10d ago

It's like how you remember that one weird embarrassing thing from 7th grade or something. Occasionally arguments just perma-stick.

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u/dee615 10d ago edited 10d ago

Going by everyday experience, I'm estimating I've received a proportionately higher amount of positive feedback from people. Hardly any of that sticks in my mind.

What I remember, waaaa...y back from primary school are the put-downs and criticisms.

And the memories still sting and humiliate.

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u/Alcoraiden 10d ago

Humans in general have a negative bias. In theory it helps you survive, but nowadays it mostly causes anxiety lol.

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u/NaturalDisaster2582 10d ago

Lots of times it because it was never fully resolved

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u/jittery_raccoon 10d ago

It's because of the implications of the past rage. I think women tend to connect behaviors into a pattern more, rightly or wrongly. So x things is seen as a warning sign for something negative. Something happen twice is a pattern of behavior that indicates negative thing. I think men tend to view each incident as an isolated event. I don't think either one is right or wrong. I think you need both kinds of thinkers in a social group. A lot of women just tend to lean one way and a lot of men the other

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u/WhenAllElseFail 11d ago

Where do you want to eat?!

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u/nickygirl19 10d ago Eureka! Respect

As a girl, I absolutely hate having to choose. I will never turn down a place when my husband picks. If I actually want something I will tell him. It should be simple. I get stuck making dinner at home most days and make those decisions- don't make me also figure out food out of the house too.

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u/flaming_carrot12 10d ago Take My Energy Ally

Frankly this is a fair take that I’ve never considered.

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u/ToesocksandFlipflops 10d ago

It's called decision fatigue.

I read about it in a teacher magazine, talking about why teachers get so burned out, but it translates well to other aspects of life as well.

I don't recall exactly but it was somewhere in the realm of like 1,000 decisions a day that teacher made and that by the end of the day they are so tired that they just can't any more.

I am betting it's also a woman thing. From the minute I get up I have to start thinking about breakfast lunch dinner hockey practice etc. So when my husband asks me to make some sort of decision I just don't want to.

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u/ISwearIUsedToBeSmart 10d ago

Yes! Total decision fatigue.

I meet my husband halfway - "what do you want to eat?" "NOT Italian. I had leftover spaghetti for lunch." Lol

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u/Dependent_Top_4425 10d ago

All of the food we eat is made by me. I get not wanting to make every decision!

But when I ask "what do you want me to make next, what have you been wishing for?" He'll either say "I don't know" or pick some pain in the ass thing like pierogi or galumpky lol, so I stopped askin' lol.

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u/evileen99 10d ago

Same here. I want a meal I don't have to put any effort into.

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u/daniboyi 10d ago

I will never turn down a place when my husband picks

this is the key part that makes it entirely ok.

What isn't ok are those people who go 'you pick' and then turn their nose up on every choice made.

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u/richalex2010 10d ago

Exactly. "I don't care." chooses a place "No, we're not eating there." "Okay, where do you want to eat?" "I don't care."

Clearly you care, and clearly you have an opinion. Last time this happened I gave up and made chicken nuggets for myself at home.

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u/stealth_mode_76 10d ago

If you ask me to pick it's gonna be tacos and margaritas

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u/DesignerPumpkins 10d ago

Agreed. I will ask you every time. This contract is now binding.

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u/geminiloveca 10d ago

Sometimes, I get into this cycle of knowing I need to eat, but NOTHING sounds appetizing. So when I get asked where I want to eat, I'm stuck because I'm cycling through restaurants and their common dishes in my head going..... "does this sound good? Will I eat this?" and often, my brain is going, "Nah sis, pick something else..."

Anymore, when I get into that mind spot, we end up just going to a buffet and hopefully, something they have that night will spark my appetite. So there's been a few times where I just eat a plate with 1 spoonful of 15 different things hoping ONE of them will be THE THING my brain wants.

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u/Sweetsunshine21 11d ago

I honestly don’t care.

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u/WhenAllElseFail 11d ago

taco bell it is!

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u/Sweetsunshine21 11d ago

Woohoo. Black bean Crunchwrap supreme for the win.

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u/RagingMage_420 11d ago

I looked straight into the windows of this womans soul. And I said "biiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttcccccchhhhh."

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u/WhenAllElseFail 10d ago

You said that though? You said bitch?

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u/ToastFromTexas 10d ago Starry Bravo Grande!

Why the fuck you would ever want to be pregnant. I watched my wife push out two kids with no drugs, and y’all have my undying respect. No fuckin way I’d do that dude. Courage is defined as a woman who intentionally get pregnant, knowing what that actually entails and all the terrifying risks associated with it. Hats off y’all.

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u/Quiet-Hamster6509 10d ago

My vagina just shrivelled up at the same memory.

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u/JeromesDream 10d ago

when i was a kid i thought "not able to get pregnant" was like a winning lottery ticket for women. i thought "test tube babies" was literally a way they invented to grow kids in a vat, to solve the specific problem of "pregnancy is body horror".

it took me a long time to understand that some women not only want kids, but find something positive about the experience of pregnancy itself (still do not understand why on either count, but i at least believe them now)

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u/ffffuuuccck 10d ago

As a woman: Yeah, why the fuck? I won't bear children even if someone paid me

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u/mrbios 10d ago

How the fuck they remember crazy minute details from 27 months ago of something I did the moment an argument starts.

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u/Revangelion 10d ago

And then watch Back to the Future and ask who's Biff Tannen, why he calls McFly and who McFly is to begin with.

ROM and RAM

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u/turtlehabits 10d ago

I've got ADHD and I like to say that I don't have random access memory, I've got random storage memory.

As in, it's always a surprise which memories get stored. The name of that one customer who only came into the store twice in 5 years and was completely unremarkable except one of those times we talked about his pet snake? Obviously that's Gary. The date of my best friend's birthday? No fucking clue.

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u/KaeptnKaese 10d ago

Do you have those moments where you look up your chat history to confirm your friends birthday and then doubt that you got it right last year so you confirm with some other source?

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u/Way_2_Go_Donny 10d ago

Toxic Positivity. Why are you always hang around people you don't like and pretend to be nice to them.

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u/Dry_Representative_9 10d ago

It’s not necessarily a good habit for sure, but womens networks rely upon collaboration so if you burn bridges, women can do a lot of damage to you socially with a bit of well placed gossip. Sadly. Women’s weapons are psychological devices, vs mens which may be more overtly aggressive.

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u/mrtouchybum 10d ago

How they can look at men and find them attractive. I’m a overweight turd and somehow I’ve managed to find one that finds me attractive.

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u/Saskibla 10d ago

Attraction doesn't have to be purely physical. I myself fall for a nice laugh and a good personality. If it clicks, looks don't matter anymore.

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u/hellotrrespie 11d ago

Why many of them feel the need to discuss very intimate details of our sex lived with their friends

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u/Dry_Substance_9021 10d ago

I used to have a standing annual "date" with a female friend of mine, just a stupid little celebration of our "Friendiversary", totally platonic.

We were on one of these dates a few years ago, and she made a tiny-dick joke, and I reacted with feigned offense, something along the lines of "how do you know I don't have one?"

"You don't".

I was thrown. My mind raced to try and find the time she might have ever seen me naked... "What? ...Wait, what? How would you know?"

She reminded me that I had dated one of her friends. While I had never forgotten they were friends, I hadn't realized I had been... discussed.

To diffuse any accusations that I'm on here bragging: I'm not suggesting I'm famously well-endowed. I'm not. The point is, I don't know how to feel about the idea that my female friends have sufficient detailed knowledge of my genitals that they can comment with confidence on my size. I don't know what else they know, and to what level of detail, because I was afraid to ask.

Part of me is flattered to have been discussed at all, but another part of me feels... exposed? I'm fine, I guess. My life hasn't been ruined, pictures of me aren't being circulated on PornHub. Maybe I should just be fine with it. But I would never discuss specific physical details of my partners with anyone, even my closest guy friends.

Maybe that's just a factor of dudes not talking to each other about intimate stuff.

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u/spirito_santo 10d ago

dudes not talking to each other about intimate stuff.

Or anything really.

I have a friend I've known since childhood (57 now). Once there was a period of almost 8 months where we didn't see each other, so when we met up again, naturally I asked what was new.

Nothing, was the reply.

During the subsequent conversation I learned that he's changed jobs, vacationed in Australia (we're Danes) and had got a diver's license.

WTF does it take to qualify as "new"?

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u/stumblinbear 10d ago All-Seeing Upvote Giggle

The moment anyone asks me what I've been up to immediately forget everything I've ever done my entire life. I could've had lunch with the queen's reanimated corpse and if someone asked me what I had been up to I'd completely blank.

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u/Dry_Representative_9 10d ago

Thanks for the giggle 🤣

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u/Admiralthrawnbar 10d ago

The natural extension of forgetting everything in class the moment an exam is put in front of you

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u/PauldGOAT 10d ago

Reminds me of the Ron Swanson bit:

I worked with a guy for 10 years and never once learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

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u/RedTheDopeKing 10d ago

Women are one hundred thousand times worse for kissing and telling, and doing it much more graphically, too.

A man would at most be like, we hooked up! It was awesome!

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u/lunayoshi 10d ago

Reminds me of that time Ross and Rachel got together and the cutaway from Rachel gushing over the kiss in epic detail with Monica and Phoebe to Ross eating pizza with Chandler and Joey.

Ross: ...And then I kissed her.

Joey: Tongue?

Ross: Yeah.

Joey: Cool. continues to eat pizza

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u/So-Cal-Mountain-Man 10d ago

Yep, I am a nurse so have worked in female-dominated businesses since age 19, women accuse men of being gross, Dudes the most detailed you get is like yeah, we did it 5 times, which of course all the guys know is a lie. I walked in on one conversation in a hospital break room and the ladies were comparing their dudes peni in terms of the shape of snakes and graphically describing it. I have worked Pysch with kids, teens, and adults, I have worked Urology and OBGYN, and lastly Labor and Delivery. So I can maturely talk about most anything, but I did a 180 and noped right out of that conversation.

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u/yaboiw00dy24 10d ago

My gf casually let slip that she showed her friend (that she hadn't seen in years) my dick pic and I was genuinely shocked and felt kinda betrayed. I honestly didn't even know how to address it so I just shut up.

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u/kastiak 10d ago

Had the same thing happen but with stuff more vulnerable than dick pics. Worst part was at some point I asked her if she did show it to her friends, she first denied it, before admitting to it in addition to saying her friend laughed at what I sent her.

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u/Gogeta- 10d ago

I've had my fair share of "trusted" "friends" violating my privacy and leaking intimate shit to their circles under the guise of loyalty and social leverage. It never gets better. You never get used to the sting of betrayal.

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u/Qtip4213 10d ago

My gf works in an all female workspace. I’ve heard stuff about their partners that I never wanted to hear. I can only assume they’ve heard the same of me. Ugh

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u/Ultimate_Consumer 10d ago

Why they all seem to wait until I sit down/get comfortable before asking me for a glass of water.

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u/SuperSly81 10d ago

The minute my coffee is done and I've settled in to read, watch TV or just relax, that's when my wife decide it would be a good idea start 10 separate projects that all require my involvement.

Apparently I'm not doing anything, so she takes it upon herself to fill up my time with random chores and tasks, which apparently can't wait.

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u/humidities 11d ago

The signals they give to men to show they like them or are interested, they are confusing and most of the time can not be noticed or even interpreted as signals

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u/Deadeyejoe 10d ago

I watched one of my female friends “hit on” a guy a few nights ago then come back to the table mad that he wasn’t responding to her advancements. I watched the whole thing go down.

Her technique was to walk past him without looking at him while he was turned around talking to someone.

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u/R_G_5_7_3_0 10d ago

How did she think her technique was going to work

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u/Deadeyejoe 10d ago

She was wearing a “cute outfit” that was supposed to get his attention.

To be fair, maybe when she first got up he wasn’t talking to someone. But her being mad at him when she got back was hilarious

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u/h-v-smacker 10d ago Gold

Her technique was to walk past him without looking at him while he was turned around talking to someone.

She could be walking without rhythm. As is well known, that won't attract the worm.

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u/Dependent_Top_4425 10d ago Eureka!

I have heard complaints from various women in my life over time that a man isn't "picking up what they're putting down". And my advice every single time is "You have to TELL people exactly what you want from them, every single time." I don't know why thats so hard for us as a species, but it saves a lot of time and frustration for everyone. Lets all agree to do this!

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u/Gage6389 10d ago

i hooked up with a girl recently and over text said she wanted to hook up. in person i was like so you still wanna hook up and she’s like well what do you think? I DONT KNOW THATS WHY IM ASKING TO BE 1000% SURE.

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u/quemaspuess 10d ago

When I was in high school something similar. We talked about it over “AIM” and I got to her house, proceeded to small talk, and she’s like “are you going to fuck me or not?”

Gotta love a straightforward woman

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u/Vegetable-Double 10d ago

Oh man, in high school back when Xanga was a thing, a chick straight up wrote “hey, you want to fuck?” And my reaction was “Lol”. It wasn’t until many years later when that ship had sailed that I realized she wasn’t joking and really wanted to bang me. I was not a smart kid.

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u/ExtraAshyPizza 10d ago

Oh man I dont want to talk about how badly I fumbled the bag in high school. A girl asked me out go the Formal, I assumed she was joking (I was never popular or well liked at school) so I said I wasnt going, stayed home that night and watched South Park. Years later I found her again on social media and asked her about it and she said and I quote: "I probably would have slept with you if you asked, I really liked you"

GOD DAMN IT

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u/SpuukBoi 10d ago

To be fair, I think 90% of people would see that as a joke

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u/Gage6389 10d ago

i think part of my issue is i try to come off as not creepy or touchy so unless they explicitly say let’s fuck i’m just gonna beat around the bush unless we’re dating or fucking all the time to start😂

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u/Voidtalon 10d ago

I had that happen once, she asked a question of 'so you said you'd like doing things with me. Are you still open to that?' so I grabbed her hand and planted it squarely on my groin.

We did not have a particularly productive night on account of being shy and uncoordinated but we had fun.

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u/No_One_Special_023 10d ago

When my sister started showing interest in this dude a few years back, she couldn’t understand why he wasn’t picking up the “hints” she was throwing down. I had to tell her “dudes don’t understand your subtle bull shit. If you like him, tell him straight and you will see his behavior change in the appropriate way to your liking, if he has feelings for you as well.” My wife backed me up. My sister took my advice and they’re slated to get married later this year.

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u/Mu-Relay 10d ago Crab Rave

I had to tell her “dudes don’t understand your subtle bull shit. If you like him, tell him straight and you will see his behavior change in the appropriate way to your liking, if he has feelings for you as well.”

It's not that we don't understand, it's that for every time a woman has touched our arm to show interest, there's a dozen times when a woman has similarly touched our arm with zero interest. You can only get bit so many times before you're like "fuck it... unless she puts up a neon sign that says LETS SCREW, I'm not chancing it."

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u/h-v-smacker 10d ago

there's a dozen times when a woman has similarly touched our arm with zero interest.

Additionally, there may be several women who touched our arm with seemingly a degree of interest, but only to compel us to do something they wanted, after which the interest dissipated into thin air.

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u/Vegetable-Double 10d ago

If she had a neon sign that said LETS SCREW, I’d probably still think to myself, hmm I wonder if she wants to screw?

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u/Ryoukugan 10d ago

"She's probably just wearing that neon sign as a joke."

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u/Commies_suk 10d ago

Nah she’s probably referring to someone else.

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u/UnoStronzo 10d ago

Or maybe she’s actually carrying a screw

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u/finlshkd 10d ago

She's probably just Canadian

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u/Suiblade 10d ago

And then a few years later they you hear from a mutual friend how her hints were SOOO OBVIOUS and that we are blind

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u/A-Chntrd 10d ago

Brushing teeth years later, and suddenly randomly realizing…

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u/RadiantHC 10d ago

Like if they were actually obvious then that would be one thing. But just making eye contact isn't hinting

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u/Not1that1girl1 10d ago

No because I will shoot my shot by ~lightly~ insulting the guy and then make a single moment of eye contact then leave and be shocked & decide it’s because he thinks I’m an ugly troll every single time it doesn’t result in him falling in love w me

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u/Nickster_B 10d ago

Why they match with you on a dating app but never talk

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u/slomar 10d ago

You guys are getting matches?

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u/RedditOakley 10d ago

I will never understand how women are so soft, smooth and wonderful to touch. It feels like men have scales for skin in comparison. We just wanna hug the squishy and never let go.

But please be better at signaling both interest and disinterest, I think many guys fall into the wrong pitfalls too often without proper information.

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u/ComprehensiveHorse30 10d ago

We moisturize (: also- estrogen!

Friends who have gone on hormone therapy for estrogen have insanely more soft skin than before

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u/slightlyoffkilter_7 10d ago

Re: the first half of your comment

Women's skin contains more elastin and collagen than men's does and is also attached to our muscles in a different pattern that allows it to stretch more efficiently! That's why cellulite exists, actually.

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u/X1bar 10d ago Heartwarming

Why they can never see how pretty they are to us.

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u/evileen99 10d ago

Or they grew up with a mother who would say things like " You would be so pretty if you... " or "You would look so much better if you..." which leads one to believe that you don't look good the way you like to dress, wear make up, etc.

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u/cuetheconfetti 10d ago

*shudders at the high school memory of a work friend and family telling me I would look so much better if I colored in my eyebrows and wore mascara instead of just wearing foundation to cover acne* I have never not colored in my eyebrows after that. Now realizing I may have been scarred into thinking I'm not pretty -_- meanwhile my boyfriend loves me the best when I'm not wearing makeup.

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u/Vegetable-Double 10d ago

Moms do that to daughters?? That’s so fucked up.

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u/stuck_behind_a_truck 10d ago

Ah yes. I have spent most of my Iife (and I’m 53) feeling that if only there was something pretty about me, I would be loved. There’s not a mm on body I consider attractive. Thanks Mom.

I’m working on it.

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u/CattoGinSama 10d ago

Yup. My brother was worshipped as saint while sis & me got jealous mother who constantly criticised our appearance

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u/kokoburp 10d ago

All of my girl friends were pretty much bullied by their moms like this. My own mom is mostly upset I'm not a very girly girl and has been pressuring me for years so that I will: get bangs, not wear black, wear daintier clothes, wear makeup (never mind the fact that the last time I had my makeup done I was so distressed I couldn't stop crying for twenty minutes), get laser eye surgery (this is the most recent one, she didn't talk to me for a week because of this), my weight (I gained weight which everyone else agrees is a great look on me). Forget about being my own worst critic, my MOM's my worst critic, and I'm pretty sure that's the case for a lot of women.

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u/LetThereBeRock666 10d ago

Personally, I've been ripped apart over my looks, lied to, bullied for most of my 32 years of life. I struggle with compliments, especially about my looks.

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u/xtc808 10d ago

because we see the pretty girls and feel that we look nothing like them

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u/jittery_raccoon 10d ago

Is it just me, or do men flock toward similar things? I remember in high school, there was 1 girl that EVERY guy had a crush on. Whereas the girls had so much variety in who they liked. Makes you feel like if you don't look anything like the "it" girl, you have no chance

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u/Sharp_Government4493 10d ago

I had this exact same realization…. It was true all the way from like 7th grade through college. I thought I was crazy, but now feel validated.

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u/sickofbasil 10d ago

Because the ones who think we aren't acceptable are much louder.

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u/Jambi1913 10d ago

I think a lot of women are very sensitive to language and can take it very much to heart when they hear women’s bodies being picked apart or compared to negative things by men - even if the guys are joking and not talking about you specifically. It’s not uncommon online or around young guys to hear “roast beef pussy”, “bee-sting tits” or “cottage cheese thighs” or hear guys calling a girl a “butterface” and rating girls out of 10 with demerits for all kinds of specific physical features. Then you look at yourself and see you have some of those flaws and get insecure about it…

Maybe it’s because we grow up so aware of how important our looks are to men - that most of the positive things we hear being said about women are about her prettiness and figure, etc. We get a bit perfectionist about it and then take any flaw in ourselves as something major that a man is going to dislike.

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u/NeedsItRough 10d ago

Because growing up every single one of my peers made it their own personal job to tell me how ugly I was and the reasons why I was ugly

Now, if a guy tells me I'm beautiful it's probably because he just wants to get in my pants.

So even if it was genuine it's still hard to undo 15 years of constant bullying.

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u/leftrightupperrump 10d ago

When you ask them if everything is ok, and they say its fine when its not.

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u/heidismiles 10d ago

For me it's more like "I'm a little annoyed, but it'll pass, and it's not really important enough to bicker about." So, it is actually fine, just maybe a little less fine right now.

My husband is wonderful, and I have no desire to complain at him about stupid things like taking out the trash. It's just not important.

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u/Inevitable-Ear-3189 10d ago

why they smell so damn good

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u/Zestyclose_Salad_351 10d ago

I use a little bacon grease behind my ears 👂

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u/diiejso 10d ago Silver

How can she slap?

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u/MiniDialga119 10d ago

The things i don't understand about women apply also to men, sometimes i don't understand people in general

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u/DirtyDan24137 10d ago Gold

“We are having company? SCRUB THE BASEBOARDS! VACUUM THE CEILING! CLEAN OUT THE LINT TRAP IN THE DRYER! WE CANT LET ANYONE KNOW PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIVE HERE!”

I get doing a pick up and making things look neat, but it’s always a hour before company comes over and I’m having to deep clean the whole house

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u/TheOtherKatiz 10d ago

You learn this habit from your mom/aunt/grandmother talking smack about other women and their dirty homes after visiting them. "She doesn't even mop her ceiling, did you notice Sheila? What a disgrace, so filthy." "Yes, and where will her children learn to brush the silverware? Not from her, that unfit mother. I can't believe we ate with those unbrushed forks!"

You learn that a) everyone judges you AS A PERSON based on the state of the house and b) there is always something dirty that you think is fine that will disgust someone else. It's enough to make a person crazy.

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u/randaljams 10d ago

As a woman in most cultures it reflects directly on us what condition the house is in. I feel SO embarrassed and angry when my husband unexpectedly brings people over without letting me tidy up

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u/LucielleBall12 10d ago

It's extremely embarrassing. Like it's a direct reflection on how well you are doing in life, even though it's absolutely not.

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u/MrOverlySarcastic 10d ago

My landlord asked if I was depressed or needed help because he came over without asking, looked through the kitchen window and saw the aftermath of... making lunch?

Some people out there are genuinely hung up on this idea. I start wondering if it's a pain to live with them.

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u/Arctic_lionness21 10d ago edited 10d ago

Yeah I feel this in my soul. My family is pretty sexist and my mom basically always vocally emphasizes how the condition of the house reflects on me. Like.... Now as an adult it sometimes enrages me to realize that I've internalized those feelings, but I still have them. So I need to have the place neat before people arrive

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u/larrysdogspot 10d ago

How my wife can use three spatulas, two frying pans, eight spoons, and turn our kitchen into a military mess hall to make a freakin' grill cheese sandwich. Oh, and be sure to leave that wet, balled up dish rag in the sink, hun. Love u

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u/ThievingRock 10d ago I'm Deceased

A couple weeks ago I had made dinner and my husband was doing the dishes. I went into the kitchen to help and he was just sort of staring into the sink. I asked if he was ok and he said in the smallest, most defeated, and confused (but not at all angry) voice, "I just... I just don't understand how you used literally every spoon."

Sorry babe.

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u/beer_madness 10d ago

I've been that guy as the one who cleans up the kitchen every night. Luckily, she has moved towards cleaning, at least the big stuff along the way to leave me less mess.

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u/ThievingRock 10d ago

We normally do the post-dinner tidying together, makes it go twice as fast and then we can both relax. We have two young kids, though, and I ended up wrangling them and didn't make it out in time to speed wash my spoons of shame.

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u/Upbeat_Sir_6220 10d ago

My wife’s ability to remember every single slight that I’ve said. From 10 years ago. Like she’s keeping score.

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u/Mirawenya 10d ago

I’m guessing cause when it first happened she spent hours thinking about it, mulling it over, imagining what she should have said, pondered how to resolve it, etc etc. it’s pretty much been analyzed from every possible angle, and thus been impossible to forget.

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u/Not_An_NSA_Employee 10d ago edited 9d ago

I dont understand women when we are in a talking phase.

If I show interest, they ghost/rarely respond/seem uninterested

If I respond slow and act like I don't care they eat that shit up and blow up my phone and always wanna meet up.

Edit: wowow 500 updoots!!! thanks for the karma kind strangers 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓

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u/RoyalGarbage 10d ago

Are you sure you’re thinking of women and not cats?

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u/Not_An_NSA_Employee 10d ago

As a cat owner you'd think I'd be better at this 😂

100% how my cat is. I ignore and it wants love. I pet and it looks annoyed.

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u/MajinSkull 10d ago

Me: hey I’m grabbing food, do you want X or y? Wife: y is fine! Me: gets y Wife: damn I was hoping you’d get X THEN WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THAT YOU WANTED X!!!!

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u/cheesecutter13 11d ago

Duck lips

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u/A_Prickly_Bush 10d ago

Im a duck and i dont understand

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u/Flowerino 11d ago

I never understood that trend either and I'm a woman

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u/DM-me-ur-tits-plz- 11d ago

The mind games. Once had a girlfriend who would intentionally wait longer to respond to some people's texts than others. Like a whole mental tier list of who was important enough to get immediate responses and who had to wait.

Just... Reply...

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u/ThoseArentCarrots 10d ago

I do the ‘waiting list’ thing, but for completely different reasons.

If I’m not monitoring my tone, I tend to come off as pushy and aggressive to a lot of people (I’m from Boston living in the Midwest- the stereotypes are true lol).

To avoid misunderstandings with people I don’t know well, I wait to respond to messages until I’m fully alert/attentive and can consciously soften my tone. With good friends, I’ll respond immediately, since they know me and will assume that I’m not trying to be mean if I come off too bluntly.

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u/thebeginingisnear 10d ago

At least she waved that red flag around openly.

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u/miloblue12 10d ago

My friend does this, but she upped her game.

With her last boyfriend, she'd constantly see if he was online or not. So if he didn't text back within the expected time frame, she'd pop onto instagram/facebook/whatever social media, and see if he was actively browsing on his phone or when he was last active. If he was active recently or within the amount of time she sent her text...she'd let him have it.

It was wild.

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u/FANTOMphoenix 10d ago

Damn, imagine putting your phone down for a bit and not seeing the text.

Just to see that was the nuclear launch sequence for her.

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u/Thorhees 10d ago

Some people are more draining than others. I can text my husband and my family back real quick but my mother in law or some of my friend group, I gotta mentally prepare for. It's not a tier list of importance, it's a tier list of how much energy the person is going to require from me and I need to plan my social interactions accordingly.

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